In summertime
Amongst the green
The sun beats down
To heat the scene.
And then the sweat
Pours down my spine.
I have a wish
For snowy climes.
In winter, cold
Comes through the door.
We insulate ourselves
And more.
And when my hands
Seize up and freeze.
I have a wish
For summer breeze.
A contest entry
- Prewrites But NO "fresh" writes by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended June 6, 2008, 77 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gimme your greenies by crazymomma.
300 points, ended August 11, 2008, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your BEST of everything prewrites!!! by perfectsunset.
475 points, ended September 16, 2008, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Short & sweet and straight to the point.
Lovely imagery and full of vibrance.
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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This is so true of many people. I have arthritis so I NEVER complain about the heat because I know the cold will make me ache oh so bad. Nice write with good rhyme and flow. thanks for entering and good luck.
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Nice Job
True how we are never quite satisfied with what we have, always wanting what is on the other side of the fence. We run the AC in the summer and the heater in the winter. Nice rhyme. My favorite lines are the last four,
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I go through this every year! On the whole, I think I prefer summer still because it lends itself to indolence, not to crankiness and/or depression the way winter sometimes does.
I like the rhyming and the flow.
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Not bad ...
at all. Living in Iowa, I know just how true to life this really is.
Thanks for entering. -
This is fantastic...
Hmmmm...I really like this. Excellent style and flow. Love the references about the snow...enjoyed this line most: "And then the sweat
Pours down my spine.
I have a wish
For snowy climes." Great write.
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aint it the truth
I like the simplicity and clarity you have used. It's not always easy as it looks.
Good job. -
I live for the summer. Can't wait for winter to end! Nice descriptive work of poetry!!! THANKS!!
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wonderful
This poem was lovely!
It was short, simple, and sweet. I really appreciated the detailed imagery you placed in it. It flowed very smoothly. Beautiful job! 
And I also appreciate the comments on my poetry..it means a lot to be able to reach out to a more experienced writer!
<3
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a very nice piece here. I personally like spring and fall the best because it's neither too hot or too cold. I enjoyed reading this. best wishes to you.
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Nice write.
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I appreciate your comment on my poem, and I wanted to do the same for you, but you're obviously a lot more experienced and talented than me so I can't really help you much. But I've read a few of your poems and I just wanted to tell you that they're really good. I especially like this one. I have a little trouble understanding it, but that's probably just because I'm only 13 and I'm not deep enough to understand it. But it's definitely a great poem.
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Great stuff.....Pastures greener....nice....
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We re never really truly satisfied with the weather; gives us something to complain about, to talk over at coffee shops and in the streets when passing. Easy to read and understand these lines -
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This is a really good poem about the season.we are never really happy with the season we have right than
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Good nature poem here, very easy to relate to- we always want what we don't have.
Thanks for your comment.
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Beautiful imagery, made me feel the seasons through your words. Nice rhythm, simple words express a complex human stance - the wish for "other" in the "now".
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i told you i'd leave a comment when i had time! really well done. gotta agree with candy, the imagery is just fantastic! this is so true too. exactly how life is, whether it's seasons we're talking about or something deeper. really liked this. not sure what else to say. sort of wondering why the "and more" was put in there, line 12. it sort of seems like it was thrown in there, just to keep with the rhyme scheme. love your work, but i honestly think you could maybe find something better to put in there that might fit in more and still go with the rhyme scheme you were tryin to keep. love the poem anyways. good job!
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Nice
Good title. Imagery is beautiful. -
This is a great poem cos it's so true! we are never satisfied with the season, we always want summer when its winter, and vice versa. You ve put this unsatisfaction into a beautiful, simple poem that has great rhythmn which i always love in poems.
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