Faithful and fading and running in place
Looking towards the sky just to get my bearings
I look up and shout
show me to the way out
One more disappointment
Water under the bridge and all that loftiness
I think where I sit
who keeps dropping this shit,
And how high do I have to climb
to stop
A drop in an ocean of sullen emotions
If I can stay up I’m sure I’ll be fine
or not
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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The couple of rhymes in this poem seem very out of place, and are stretches for rhymes as is. I like the or not at the end, but the short line "to stop" interrupts the flow like the out-of-place rhyme does. A good effort overall.
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Thank you for the feedback, back to the drawing board i suppose :-)
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