How can I kiss a skin as fair as this?
a perfect peach not plucked yet from the bough.
To touch would mar, with but the gentlest kiss
if placed upon my lady’s velvet brow.
How can I whisper words of love when she
has only heard the softest sounds of spring?
So foolish then, to turn her head to me
for music that my humble heart would bring.
Best hope have I, that she might look my way;
I pray she’ll see the love I can’t disguise.
Her glance would dwell for ever and a day
if I could gaze just once, into her eyes.
Until my final breath seeks to depart,
my love is hers; she holds my aching heart.
Author notes
Shakespearian Sonnet.
In a list
A contest entry
- Sonnets Please by piccola.
600 points, ended January 30, 2008, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Poems! by Peachy.
1400 points, ended July 20, 2008, 28 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 'Pour me a Sonnet' by Cynthia Gaines.
1200 points, ended August 6, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hopeless Romantics by N.W. Clerk.
1200 points, ended September 6, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - English Sonnets Please (romantic) by poets whisper.
900 points, ended November 28, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sonnets Only by Cupcrazy.
1000 points, ended April 8, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Chivalric Poetry by Aedara-Wren.
850 points, ended May 15, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Shakespearean Sonnet Competition: "PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN" WORK ONLY. by Vera Rich.
490 points, ended June 15, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Happy Birthday! William ShakeSpeare! Hip Hip Horray! by Lanasaur.
400 points, ended June 5, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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this was wonderful to read. How tenderly and beautifully written. It flows perfectly.
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Very nice ...
and very nicely done.
Good luck in the contest.
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A very well-wrought sonnet indeed - good flow, good control of language and subject and approach well in the Elizabethan tradition. One minor blemish- and it IS only a minor one, is the cliche "for ever and a day" in line 11. Perhaps after the competition is judged (and I do apologize for the delay in judging it) you might like to consider if you can find some other, and fresher, expression here.
Likewise (though I did not take titles into consideration in judging this competition, since, after all, Shakespeare did not give titles to his sonnets), you might also give some thought as to whether you have made the most apposite choice of title. -
Another poem reminiscent of the traditional courtly love poems, the pining man waiting to be saved by the glance of the unreachable, idealised woman. A good example of it.
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Nice piece of work it reminded me of romeo and juliet of how he feels a deep love for her unending, yet it is different in he is afraid to make her fall in love and does not want to mar her innocence.
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This is lovely. The flow is very smooth and the rhyme unforced. I envy you sonnet writers and wish I could do it!
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A Shakesperian Sonnet, I like it. You did very well with this and I thank you for sharing. I realy like the picture too, it's stuning. Congrads on winning honorable and bronze, you've done well. Nice write and hope all is well
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Beautiful!!
I love this poem!! Sonnets are truly beautiful forms or writing and you have captured the essence of them so well!! The imagery in this write is spectacular:
"a perfect peach not plucked yet from the bough."
If I had to pick a favorite line, that would certainly be it! I can picture a young gentleman serenading his love with this!! Glad I decided to check this one out!!
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Oh, I hope you have someone in real life to share this with! Or you should have someone read it to you. Sonnets are the true love poems. I loved the peach metaphor, and the velvet brow.
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Very sweet words.
My favorite lines: "Until my final breath seeks to depart, my love is hers; She holds my aching heart." -
Beautiful poem, I love how it's sort of Shakespearen. Great write.
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Beautiful lines that speak volumes about your talent as a poet! well done indeed (: best of luck in the contest
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"How can I whisper words of love when she
has only heard the softest sounds of spring?"
--These were my favorite lines
Beautiful sonnet!
Amber
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I love the tone of the music of the love through the musical words here...I like it..and my thanks for sharing such a wonderful piece..well done...
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Very Beautiful!!!
This is a very romantic and lovely sonnet you've written!!! Thank you for entering my contest, and good luck!!! Peace, Cyn
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Loving Lovely Loved
What a poem such grace, beautiful and just magnificent. How else can you describe a poem like this. A fantastic poem to read! i think all the people below have described this poem perfectly. Well done on a great write
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Incredible
This poem was beyond description but i'll try anyway.
Firstly how beautifully you formed an image of a man in love with a woman of virtue. You gave the reader just enough to allow their imagination to flow freely and submerse them in your world.
Secondly the use of words which were although eloquent still simple enough that they were easily understood without a dictionary being required.
Last the amazing way you formed the sonnet perfectly complying to all 'rules' which are required of a sonnet.
An amazing write.
xoxo -
This was a very nice poem and i can see why it won. Congratulations on your win. I love poetry like this that really moves you.
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Wonderful sonnet wonderful structure the love he has is so strong and also so very caring and respectful not even wanting to touch lest it marred... her 'velvet brow' loved it Lib x x x
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This was just amazing I love how you expessed your emotions towards this poe mgreat job. My fav part was: How can I whisper words of love when she
has only heard the softest sounds of spring?
So foolish then, to turn her head to me
for music that my humble heart would bring. Keep on writting man.
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Very passionate, I definitely got the Shakespearian vibe in this poem.
"How can I whisper words of love when she
has only heard the softest sounds of spring?"
These lines are my favorite because I'm sure everyone has felt this way at one point or another, felt that they weren't good enough for someone else. This poem is sweet and sad at the same time. Good job!
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lovely
So well put this soul of great promise whos saves his love for one sweet lady so fair.
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aww congrats on the win! great work I enjoyed every line
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Vivid emotion and imagery, sounds like something my grandmother would right, and that's a great compliment...to me this sounds like shakespear, amazing!
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This is a beautiful sonnet in the classic sense. I see your young lover aching to kiss this fragile peach but forced to admire her from afar. It was lovely and delicate and a joy to read. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
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Truly great words. Thankyou and good luck in the contest.
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Wonderful thoughts and words culminating in a beautiful sonnet. Just lovely
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(sighs) Oh this is too wonderful. To think of a peach being marred by just a kiss. Peaches are soft, and easily bruised when ripe. This brought such a nice vision...very romantic too as it should be. thank you very much for this great entry.
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Sonnets were made for love and you have used the form to its greatest potentiol. I love this, I must admit, I am a sucker for love poems. The emotion, imagery and the flow makes this poem a winner in my book.
Love,
Amera♥
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oh i like it. i thought of romeo and Juliet. if forbidden love is whats its about.
and why did you choose a peach to be the fruit to be picked (cant figure it out)
i have like 5 applauds left, and don't wanna use em till i figure out how to get more.
but -double applaud from me-
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I feel I have viewed this pic before????
Another wonderful stroke of your pen hon.
Fare thee well in this contest my friend.
MWAH
Cuz
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Your sentiment makes me sigh, it's a lovely sonnet with very pretty imagery. Best of luck!
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I admire your ability to write such beautiful sonnets. This is yet another brilliant write from your talented pen and I wish you the best of luck in this contest
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