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With Green Eyes

I watch with green eyes
Icicles dying in Spring's
Cold mourning sunshine.

Author notes

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A contest entry

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Comments


  • azure85 gold member
    January 25, 2008

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    Welcome to our haiku workshop!

    I watch with green eyes
    Icicles dying in Spring's
    Cold mourning sunshine.

    I agree with Polly's comment about personification, is there some way you can show us these images? Thank you so much.


  • Pollycheck
    January 24, 2008

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    I watch with green eyes
    Icicles dying in Spring's
    Cold mourning sunshine.

    Thank you for entering our haiku workshop. Line two seems to be using personificaion and the use of personification is frowned on when writing haiku.