your fists clenched,
yet you
were limp,
a wilting weed,
awaiting elysium,
the world's ending.
.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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All power vanishes when self-belief fails...
Bars of cage forged
from disbelief
Hardened through
self denial
but finally shattered
through eventual truth
Have a lovely weekend...
Eddy
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This makes a profound impact. I think the emotion or lack there of, is evident here. A very nicely done piece. A bit too many commas though.
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good poem lots of emotion... My favorite part was:
your fists clenched,
yet you
were limp,
good luck in contest
De-throned -
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...it's not supposed to be emotional, but okay.
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Cool
Wow...that is great! In such a short poem their more them like emotions, feeling,and pictures. Your very good!
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Oh my
Nicely done! I don't know what else to say. Elysium. Good word.
All of your poems are very short, they remind me of ritz crackers, small, but wonderful. -
Like Lavender Butterfly said, this was vividly profound. It made me think every word out, and also made me picture each word. I liked the spacing, it made it unique and a bit more interesting. I also liked how this made me go grab a dictionary
You are a master at short poems, my friend. Another wonderful write 
Jeanette*~
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vividly profound... Thanks ever so much for sharing... x Love and light, Lavender Butterfly.
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