With your smooth talking kaleidoscope
a spraypaint infusion,
you graffitied my defences,
and smothered all my walls
in the grin-and-bear-it image of yourself,
And yet, with all the smiles, waves
flowers, chocolates,
and a ring that burns as it shines upon my finger,
you’re still blind to seeing
that your not the one who can bring the walls down.
As confusion beats a haze on the insides of my eyelids,
and withered skin fingers
grip a tightening squeeze upon my stability of choice,
I mould my ink patterned fingers back upon the pen.
Stabbing out my rash decision in each calligraphic twist and flick of nib,
‘Dear so and so, we welcome you, to join with us today…
to stand witness to this marriage…’
a marriage unto what?
A life stuck on repeat;
a broken record fumbling
amidst the light reflection rainbows the surface holds so dear,
whilst internally tones grey and decomposes,
marked by nothing but a half-hearted static buzz.
Organization with no motivation,
roses for the widow, a widow to her past,
crumpled up into a ball,
and thrown at the wall with each
fumble of an inksplot,
and the muttered sound of fuck.
“Roses are red, violets,
greens,
black
blue”
Black.
Paint over all the misshapen colours you smeared onto my conscience
with your promise of a love,
a love, a life, a kiss.
Take my newly grown bristles,
grow a brush and smooth it black,
Smooth and silent;
tears stabbing out from under bags of sleepless nights,
and the light seems so much brighter
Brighter and blurred.
Author notes
Prompt; Rose petals of black paint
Username; Lucy Sky Diamond
A contest entry
- Teen Idol 7: Round 3 [Top 14] by Tangled Angle.
300 points, ended February 2, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
"As confusion beats a haze on the insides of my eyelids,
and withered skin fingers
grip a tightening squeeze upon my stability of choice,
I mould my ink patterned fingers back upon the pen" That part there was so describeing i liked this alot. Lovely poem very well written. Good job.
..<3..
Shelly :] -
I feel the repeat of 'brighter' at end is unnecessary. This piece seems very wordy but the imagery is stark and beautiful phrasing else where.
Much luck,
-
I think the layout could have been a bit better, as it is now it's a little messy.
Other than that I thought it was a nice interpretation of the prompt.
Thank you and good luck -
9.5
I'm usually chill with there being curse words, but I didn't think 'fuck' was necesary in this case. This was also kind of wordy.
This had good metaphors that made creative images however. Overall, well done.
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