I dated Jesus recently
we met on the Internet
I told him shortly
about my life
but he already knew
what he should know and what not
he consoled me
encouraged
made me smile
so we arranged a meeting
when he came
he was glowing in solacing light
like in all the icons
so we talked
how do you do, what do you do
is everything alright
we love you there in heaven
and so i said
that i have lost
myself and everything that's mine
that I sin much
because it's pleasant
and that I'd cry
and repent
if I knew how
and then unexpectedly he
poured over me some petrol
and threw a match
I was stunned a little
but if that was pain
seems like I've spent my life
in heaven
but it's a pity
that along with a match
he burned his hands
and from that day on
he couldn't touch a single soul
'cause his fingertips
are yellowish black smoke outs
from them is hailing ash
A contest entry
- CONTEST: Jesus Jokes and Happy Fun Time by Barry Hodges.
400 points, ended February 11, 2008, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Divine
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Darn it! I thought he left the country. That same butt-head went out with me three months ago. He pulled the same thing. LOL! Good write, Much luck in the contest.
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What a total bastard! The creeps you meet on those dating sites *shudders* There seems to be a parallel here between J.C. and King Midas....intentional? Serves him right anyway.
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He sounds a bit of an asshole. You should find a better internet dating site. One I have tried is very good: http:/www.kissaspastic.com .
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What a much interesting poem this is! I sure most of all bet you will get some criticisms from the goddo-squaddo, but not gfrom your new friend Barty the German mole.
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Some of your imagery was really vivid, and you didn't leave much to the imagination. The last three lines were the best in my opinion. "...but it's a pity that along with a match he burned his hands" for some reason that didn't seem right. Maybe because it seemed broken apart from the first half of the fourth stanza. It sounded like you should have said it sooner, or tied it together somehow. That could just be your style though. At least you're thinking for yourself instead of saying what others want to hear, but I don't think it'll start as much argument as you might've been hoping for.
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Interesting imagery here, to me this showed loss of religion through the 'punishments' the Christian god is supposedly handing out, I agree.
Thanks for your comment.
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