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heil maria

little snow-white angels
with sacred raspberry lips
soft down wings
and naivety - the key to the heaven
march out of the church one by one
to see the world
through eyes like windows of a whore house

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1 - 6 of 6
  • Seeking Peace silver member
    February 13, 2008
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    Welcome to AllPoetry

    This is something so outside the box and I loved it's powerful in your face attitude, well done

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  • Barry Hodges
    January 29, 2008

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    I like the use of "heil" rather than "hail" as old Mary was a bit of a nazi in many ways and of course the current Catholic Pope (a great Marianist) is a former member of the Hitlerjugend.


  • janejainejayne gold member
    January 27, 2008
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    Brava!

    Dear I,
    There is an old saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder...for some reason your poem makes me think of that old saying. For some reason I see it as a prayer and a Hail Mary...life waits outside the church and grabs us all from serene moments. I like this very much! Jane


  • Bartholomew Mole
    January 25, 2008

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    Ignore the comments below. I love whore houses indeed I lived in one for many years as my mother was the head lady there. I hope you will read some of my nice tales of life there.


  • Lute
    January 24, 2008

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    Unfortunately this is more tasteless than controversial.
    To deem it it controversial one should have a basis for argument, not just a blatant burp.

    the key to the heaven
    march out of the church one by one
    to see the world
    through eyes like windows of a whore house

    this is somewhat unclear--I would suggest:

    they march out of church
    with their heavenly keys
    and their eyes
    are the windows of a charnel house.


    • ImmanuelC888
      January 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I agree, it's no as good as it's supposed to be as it's translated almost word by word from Latvian. As for this poem(?), I can't force myself to change a thing.
      But if you prefer to look at it as a blatant burp, then let it be so, although for me it means a lot - a celebration of puberty. Anyways, it's up to you - what to see and what to ignore.
      Thanks for commenting.

1 - 6 of 6