Strawberry shook blank, as sharp talons struck seeds
for the sweet pollen which dust black crows’ wings,
but blue lights shone red, as he took his last flight,
leaving a womb with what ecstasy brings;
and they said she'd press sheets, for clipboards this month,
if she wasn't finally giving him in.
Author notes
Giving into him, giving in to them.
Options 8 and 9. (I was initially inspired by the quote, then the title).
A contest entry
- 171st Contest by Tarja.
450 points, ended January 25, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be honest, I promise it won't hurt;
Comments
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RULE: Tell me which option you chose in your AUTHOR'S NOTES.
+++ WARNING: THROUGHOUT THE SITE I AM KNOWN AS A VERY HONEST AND SOMETIMES HARSH CRITIC. I TAKE MY CONTESTS VERY SERIOUSLY. IF I DO NOT ENJOY YOUR ENTRY, IT IS MY RIGHT TO TELL YOU AND TO REMOVE IT. CONSIDER THIS YOUR WARNING. IF YOU CANNOT TAKE CRITICISM, DO NOT ENTER! ALSO I AM VERY STRICT ABOUT FOLLOWING THE RULES! IT'S ONE DAMN RULE! MANY POETS HAVE NOT OBEYED & LOST TROPHIES OVER THIS! +++ -
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I accidentally entered the "notes" into the preview box - which cut off the third line - how-ever managed to fix it just before receiving your comment.
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You know you can make an excuse and rate my comment with one star, but it doesn't change the fact that YOU cost yourself a trophy.
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Not winning doesn't have anything to do with my dropping the rating, to be honest I presumed you would have read my comment, thought "fair enough", and that I just didn't place in the end - which is fine, I still got a poem I'm quite happy with out of the prompt. And if you didn't, then fair enough, your rules.
It's that it's not a comment on a poem, which doesn't add anything constructive to the piece itself, and hence shouldn't carry the four stars (which the site gave the comment based on the length).
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