Flames lick the
wood as a wound tended
they crackle confessions
of conspiracy
No human noises
to be heard, except
the unevenness of
my own breath
[remembering the times
happiness was breathing
you in]
sipping salvation,
[the good cognac
I promised
not to open]
blasphemous memories,
the mantle adorns
false idols.
Poking at the fireplace,
fantasizing arson.
polaroids burn
technicolor inferno
[Melting images of
sex gone wrong.]
symbolic bondage of
marriage manifest
in pixelated positions.
Flames sear the flesh
as a spirit cleansed.
The key turns in the door
[you probably still smell
of him]
and confrontation turns
to ash.
Author notes
http://allpoetry.com/group/info/Gluttons%20for%20punishment?stay=1
(option passive aggressive)
A contest entry
- Licking These Wounds- A GFP Contest! by GFP Vault.
1000 points, ended February 9, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Where's my stinkin' trophy? by Great Cthulhu.
1500 points, ended April 25, 2008, 47 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This is an impressively dark tale of bottled rage. Well done! I love the alliteration of your first stanza, nicely accomplished. These are my favorite lines:
"Poking at the fireplace,
fantasizing arson."
Keep your pen to the page and thanks for entering! -
Like the way you have taken this piece, I lioved the imagery of the first stanza especially, of flames licking... What a beautiful picture and sound! (no I'm not a pyromaniac!).
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WOW! Powerful!
The last line brought the whole thing to a powerful and somewhat sad ending.
I must say that I was a bit disappointed when I saw that I only had 5 enteries in this contest but I do believe I have the top five of the group!
Wonderful poem, absolutely love it! -
This is epic. Great twists and turns, brilliant imagery and energy. Loved it..
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I really enjoyed this one. You have a great imagination that plays out well into your poetry.
This poem had a matter of fact quality about it, melancholy yet charged.
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okay here we go...
First, the last stansa is perfect! Now, it is not the words that are no right...it is your order. I think if you play with it a little you will find it sharpens the poem. I would also drop the parenthesis (I know, I use them too) and maybe just add ... before the next line. -
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Getting better, but I demand perfection.
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I changed it a bit.
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Now you got it! I knew it would come to you. Have you shown Kathleen? She'd kiss your....feet for this one
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great usage here hun, great write!
best of luck!
Tasha
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