My head is heavy with physical and emotional pain
My heart is pounding to stay alive
I can't go to sleep.
Silver razor
You shielded your comfort from me
Why? I need you so much right now.
I'm fatigued and my body aches
This dull pain won't cease
Maybe I should open just one scar
Letting myself fall in love
How ignorant am I
Thoughts cloud my judgement
Love blinds, and he's too good for me
Picking the razor up, I frantically think:
This could solve everything...End everything.
One open wound and I watch the blood
It eagerly swims down my arm
Staining my pale flesh
I can't feel the pain
I'm normal again
Finally
My head is serene and calm
My heart beats faintly
I welcome eternal sleep with open arms
Author notes
I can't even begin to describe what's going on with me right now...
www.livjournal.com/~gregachey
Written November 14th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- ~Suicide~ 300 points by Confused Gemini.
300 points, ended January 2, 2004, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I can relate to this poem so very well. The last time I felt I needed to just leave and sleep forever was last night. You didn't let yourself fall in love, you can't help what your heart does. You are a strong person and the more you focus on the problems that he caused you, you should look ahead and think that now you are free to move on and get someone better. You definately are not ignorant for falling in love it is a part of life. The flow and the picture of this poem just bring it all together even more making this a truly wonderful write.
keep up the great writes
Gem -
Very chilling peace, I can relate to it lots from my younger years, always thinking...just to be no more...just to sleep forever. Luckily that feeling passes. You cannot live for another hun only for yourself. You are too strong for this, you know the ways, heal and live, gather your strength and be strong, for the future still shines brightly upon a glowing heart and it shall shed the ashen dust soon, be sure of it. Excellent write btw, I do love the dark (though i've not dwelled there in a really long time). Great piece!
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oOo...me like, me like alot
pretty blood stains, not so pretty arm, kinda hairy. crapy ending. it's all blah... but yea even with it, it's a great poem. i like your depressed poems. not that i'm saying i like you depressed, aaa who am i kidding i love it when people are sad...i'll shut up now. me go byebye
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Always wondered what it would be like to sleep eternally, have always been to scared to actually try though. I hope you don't try it either, hun, hope that you are OK, this is a pretty powerful write.
s to you.
Blue
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Yes, I gave you the wrong link. Just as I had figured that I would.
The link is in fact: Http://www.livejournal.com/~gregachey .
My bad.
- -"I lay me down tonight" (A Fire Inside)- -
OPIUMMM KITTN
Edited on Nov 15, 3:35 p.m. because ''. -
Great jobbie!
Yes, very scary.
To be completely honest, I had never thought that you would ever, ever get over your "first love." Now I'm wrong; I'm not too proud to admit when I've made a mistake.
Also, I'm glad that you finally got over Michael, but a word from the wise (me...): don't fall in love too soon, because if this relationship ends, then, well... he'll break your heart without even knowing it.
And that's the worst kind of heart break.
On another note, I'm glad that you found a use for my friend Greg's found image file. I'd really appreciate it if you gave him the credit (and I'm sure he'd enjoy the publicity, too.) Just give a link to his livejournal which is Http://Livejournal.com/Gregachey , I think. If that incorrect, then I'll be back some other time to correct it.
And, is it possible that you got "inspired" by my poem "My friend, Mr. Exacto," to write this? Because it sounds a bit like it. Also, I deleted that poem, and if you want another little comment point-thing, just go and comment on it. I reposted it for some reason, which I do not remember why.
- -I'm such a goober- -
OPIUMMM KITTN -
The picture is an eye opener and the words opened them even wider~I was there and the only thing that saved me was my little girl calling my name from beyond the door~There are alternatives to this eternal sleep~Writing and releasing~Great release sweetie~Big hugs to you for your strength and even putting it to paper~Desire
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im sorry i not there for you...i love you please don't die on me, i can't take that, not that, not ever that, please not again ana please don't do it to me......please. i do like the poem, well written and great picture for it, but please no, please......
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It's not easy. I know. Time is changing and
so are we. You are writting about release from
pain but suicide does not release from responsibility.
People who assume it does and that you don't face
it on the other side are wrong. When I came in here,
I thought de javu' but I see it's same picture but
different poem. Hugs ya.
Daoine -
I know what your going through I go through it every November especially on the 22nd but I get over it, slowly but being around people and listening to music helps a lot, just please don't do anything stupid, I don't need to worry about another friend talking about cutting, I'm just waiting for that day when I get that phone call saying my almost sister is dead....
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you do a wonderful job of using your painful emotions,
writing can really help. this is beautiful and haunting.
eternal sleep feels like a wonderful idea....
which something scary to feel.
i'm not going to try and describe what you are going through,
because everyone fights their own battle.
just try to remember all the good people who love you,
~CLare -
hun I never want you to go into an eternal sleep if you weren't there for me to talk to last night i probably wouldn't be here today and i am here if you wanna talk just im me i think i know what might be going through your mind but let me know maybe i can help
keep up the great writes
Gem
Edited on Nov 29, 10:54 p.m. because ''.
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