starts creeping
so very slowly,
emotional molasses;
pride stands
clearing paths
as love dwindles
dieing within a sunset
lacking beauty.
A contest entry
- DFI Round 2 ~ Short and Sweet by And Hyetal.
800 points, ended February 5, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Excellent
So very pleased to see GOLD on this wonderful verse, but not at all surprised. Well done.
~Pamela 
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Imagery: 1 point
Theme: 1 point
Use of Form/Flow: 1 point
Other criteria: 1 point
Overall Appeal: 1 point
"emotional molasses"... This was a beautiful piece so well said in so little words. Honestly I don't know what to say, other that you got 5 points for Team Sonneteer!
~Cassie
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Beautiful
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You have given some haunting ways of Silence
within this one, Short but the words bring a thunderous
roar..
Best of luck to you in this round,
Blessings,
Tearz -
This
is a beuatiful thought-provoking write. Pride deeply upsets and often breaks down what has been carefully built. The link between pride and its outcome, as well as its manifestation in human behaviour is strikingly portrayed in this poem. These words accentuate what I have been teaching managers the past two days - a pity that I did not read this to them. Good luck. Frans
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Emotional molasses ---
Pride is a tough one and it nearly always triggers silence which builds walls and in turn squelches love. Ahhh. A sad thing really.
Beautiful work as always. I love the soft truth about this piece. You always amaze me my dear. ~Pamela
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Well done! It's hard to paint an image with so few words but you nailed it; "emotional molasses" perfect!
Love,
Amera♥
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