Animals in cages,
controlled by the "humans",
were people once as well.
Within this dark kingdom,
hell is not physical,
and flames steal weak of heart.
The burning comes from truth,
the fire comes from lighters,
and your "friends" win again
in the two-sided world.
Seeing the cold black truth,
monsters look into holes,
reflecting the same man.
Trapper fuzz show the way,
deep within the labrynth,
to the home of the grind.
Welcomed back to the smell,
their plotting point boxes,
demons iron mistakes.
Forgetting the knowledge,
beasts return to a game
that they lose every time.
A contest entry
- I. LIFE by Naridill.
800 points, ended January 31, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I can't really get into the somewhat literal beginning myself, contrary to the person who commented before me.
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Good
This poem started out great but i felt that towards the end it became slightly to metaphorical and to me personally confusing.
I did love the meaning in your poem though which if i understood it right is the suffering of the animals of this world.
Wonderful write
xoxo -
Some spacing would create such an intense feel with this piece. The phrasing and word choice set the mood brilliantly though.
Thanks for entering,
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