might as well turn my insides out and smother me

I Never Thought I'd Have To Do This
Simply
Make
  Indulging
  Lies
    Everyday

But I

R
E
A
L
L
Y

want you happy
and if I have to lie
and say:
        "I'm really happy for you"


Then thats what I'll do
    even if I want to stick sporks in my eyes
and rip them out


    even if
I want to cut out my heart
and give it to you on a silver platter
and watch you eat it
   

                      Because it all feels the same

So Today
I saw you

W
I
  T
  H
    O
    U
      T

me on your arm

B
U
  T

her

all

over

you.

I smiled
-you waved
-she...acted like there was something stinky on her upper lip

and I wanted to kill her

and I wanted to cry


                              WHY??

Because she doesn't deserve you
She doesn't deserve my happiness
At best she deserves worse than what I'm feeling

                      {carnivore.}

And *of course*

    it gets worse

she just must

kiss you

infront of

me.

A
Never
  Dreamed                      of
            punishment.

I don't think I needed to see that...

but

you

did...


~NOW CAN I RIP HER THROAT OUT??~

"Are you okay?" you ask.

"I'm Happy For You." I say, walking away, because you will never see me cry...

              atleast not infront of her.