Through the cold heavy rain I could feel it, something warm running down my right arm.
The, the pain. Like a fire burning on my skin. Oh, how I wished the rain would put the fire out, but my request was going unheard.
When I finally turned my head to see what was wrong, I screamed in pain. My arm was broken, the ivory colored bone protruded from my skin, and warm red blood flowed down from my arm, washing away by the rain.
I tried to stand, but my legs wouldn't move. When I looked, I saw, to my horror, a section of brick wall that had fallen on them. I was stuck, left to die in the cold rain. I was trapped in some dark alley, prone to bleed to death without anyone ever knowing.
It was then that I heard it, a low growling noise accompanied by a childish wailing. I froze, couldn't move at all for the fear that gripped me like a fist.
I closed my eyes and prayed that the noise would go away, but all it did was approach, closer and closer. I didn't want to open my eyes, didn't want to see the source of that horrible noise.
Then a sharp pain struck my chest as the beast let out a blood curdling scream. My eyes shot open and my body lurched up. Screams filled my ears. I looked about, and I was safe in my bed. The screaming was my own, I could see nothing in the darkness of the room.
It all felt so real, too real, but it was all just in my mind...
Tell me what you think
Comments
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Well! You had me going there. The ivory bone sticking out, the fire, trapped legs and noise. I like the way it trails off, in a Stephen King novel this would be the time to turn the page and start a new chapter. Very easy to relate to, who hasn't had a nightmare? Bravo!
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A series?
This could easily be the start of something big. Every element was wonderful, and I'll make my editing suggestions privately. Bravo!
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Your mind can play tricks on you. Nicely done! This is truly a joy to read, I love the description of being pinned and helpless. And what child hasn't hidden under the covers to escape? In this case, that wasn't working. I would run a spell check or proofread, just to catch typing errors. Wonderful write!
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A good atmospheric scary incident.
Well thought out.
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