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Heart-shaped lock

He leaves me like a toy 'cause I am meek,
My heart nothing more than a box in a geek
I am trapped inside your razorblade mesh net
I want to drink your anger; its all I get

No, stay
I found a new excuse today
Chained to your sense of sadism


No, stay
I found a new excuse today
Chained to your sense of sadism


No, stay
I found a new excuse today
Chained to your sense of sadism
sadism...


Angelic demon kisses demonic angel good night
Broken dreams and stifled screams say it's all right.
Can't remember why the sex was so good our first time
But knowing lying is such a sinful, dirty crime

No, stay
I found a new excuse today
Chained to your sense of sadism


No, stay
I found a new excuse today
Chained to your sense of sadism


No, stay
I found a new excuse today
Chained to your sense of sadism
sadism...


He leaves me like a toy 'cause I am meek,
My heart nothing more than a box in a geek
I am trapped inside your razorblade mesh net
I want to drink your anger; its all I get


No, stay
I found a new excuse today
Chained to your sense of sadism


No, stay
I found a new excuse today
Chained to your sense of sadism


No, stay
I found a new excuse today
Chained to your sense of sadism
sadism...
sadism...
sadism...


Author notes

Yes, based off the song we love by Nirvana.
To the same tune, but more from a girl's perspective. You want twisted love, Nirvana had the perfect song. But this is sort of my rewrite of it. Sorry it's so long, but I like putting in all the lyrics, not just abbreviatin it with CHORUS, or VERSE.

http://www.metrolyrics.com/heart-shaped-box-lyrics-nirvana.html

-OPTION ONE:-
a big ol' happy (RON PAUL STARE 8-|)

A contest entry

please tell me what this makes you feel

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Comments


  • twaintwine
    January 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Nerve Honor

    The repetition adds "links" to the sadistic chain and reinforces the hypnotic spell the speaker is unfortunately under. The word "geek" sticks out, for me, in a strange way that seems to undo the tone. But I know nothing of the context. Possibly another term there?

    • twilight seduction
      January 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hhhmmmm. The word Geek does indeed stick out, but i can't think of anything that fits in better, but I'm still looking. thank you for your honest criticism--it helped.

  • moluv10
    January 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the silver! I love your rewrite of this Nirvana classic! I love Nirvana! Great job with this!


  • Mr Majenta gold member
    January 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    yes! i love it, and as a lyricist i totally understand writing out the whole thing. i liked the repetition you used so well
    i never really was into nirvana that much, but once a stupid chick told me i was the rejected member and needed to get a haircut.