Entombed… Feel the sickness
The heaviness
Imprisoned… Push against the walls of flesh
For they will not give
Purgatory is the body
Your bones, the bars of enclosing death.
Born into what we learn to fear
Already dead
Nosferatu
Everywhere.
If life is in the soul, and in soul mates you believe.
Then walled up within us…
… How are they free?
When life is lived
There are no boundaries
In the physical world
But how is that life?
When life…
… is the soul.
.
.
.
When the body weakens
And the bars break
And the walls crumble
Our souls are free of their constraints.
In your existence
Death is feared
When it should revered.
Each soul spends a lifetime in Death
Sentenced in flesh
Stripped of its wings
And ethereal breath.
You fear a casket, fire and earth
And all the things we can not see
But you don’t seem to realize
That you’re about to give birth.
Because only in death… are we truly free.
By: Jaye Eryk
Copyright ©2008
Author notes
My thoughts on Life and Death.
In a list
Non-monosyllabic comments welcomed
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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i love it! masterpiece! makes you think
i wrote a poem a little bit like this its called what if death wasn't the end? have a look?"Each soul spends a lifetime in Death
Sentenced in flesh
Stripped of its wings
And ethereal breath." really good !!!! keep writing!!!!!!!!
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I have never read a write like this but I have to say this was interesting and I enjoyed reading it.This was really a great write and I think you truly write some amazing pieces of work, Though I do not know if I have ever read any of your work besides this.But this was great, This was exactly what I was looking for in this contest. Thank you so much for entering.And I'm adding this to the finalists!!
Good luck!
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BRONZE??? are you fucking kidding me???? wtf??? that was GOLD all the way!! man, i need to watch myself here, because i'm 'bout to go on an f'bomb explosion!!!
I have often wondered about this, but never have i put it into such brilliance as this! nor, could i! i cannot believe some of the things that come out of you! you make my eyes envious and my soul jealous! this was probably one of THE most amazing pieces that i believe i have ever read, jaybee!!! this was simply amazing in all of its ways that make you who YOU are!!!
i can't rant and rave about it enough. i am, and will forever be in awe of you and your amazing ability to write. this one shall go down in history as one of the world's greatest pieces of art ever penned down!!!
brilliance of yours has floored me!!
*rianna
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Someone else who understands. This is refreshing. Your allusion in this poem is exceptionally powerfully. This piece is thought-provoking in a way that few others are, and you put a lively spin on a tiresome cliche sort of poetry. A different perspective on death that truly is unique. The insight in this poem is unsettling, but that is half of what makes it so good.
Lovely work once again, I have to say I am starting to expect your entire collection of work to be one masterpiece after another. Well done!
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I've never read a poem quite like this, and your views are unique as well. Its a very thought provoking piece, and from it, it inspires many questions, sparking my muse. I'm not sure I can say I agree with you fully, but I do to a certain extent. Wonderful piece, beautiful writing.
Thank you for entering and best wishes! -
I always want to beleive when we die we are free but never can I get rid of the faith that in death we die and that's it. no after life or anything. why would there be anyway. we only make up things like this because we can't imagine or don't want to imagine not being there at all and that's the way we are, we need hope to survive, something to look forward to and live for.
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Makes Perfect Sense
You know some thoughts that I have pondered on each day of my life, you weave so easily.. and express and stress a poetic point, that can surely be truth. As said in the verdict box, makes perfect sense. No BS. bro, a very potent piece. I believe you see in the dark just fine by the way.
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Aww.. oh gosh, i really love this one, it speaks so much truth, "Because only in death… are we truly free." nothing more true than that like.. amazing work honey xxx
i miss talking to you <3
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Dark and eloquent...as per usual
"Born into what we learn to fear
Already dead
Nosferatu
Everywhere.
Pretty but simple..."
Except for the "nosferatu", which is when I say "Huh?" But it sounds nice. =)
"Our souls are free of their constraints."
Ooh, nice. I love the "their", which is completely left to the imagination. =)
"In your existence
Death is feared
When it should revered."
I'm not sure I agree with death being "revered", but I love the rhyming scheme, and the "In your existence" has a nice way of personalizing it to the reader.
"Because only in death… are we truly free."
Your poem's message in a nutshell.
Nice use of things like ellipsis(es), formatting, and color. It's all very dark, eloquent...very you. Ahahaha. =)
Jessica
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Each soul spends a lifetime in Death
Sentenced in flesh
Stripped of its wings
And ethereal breath.
In reading this, I recalled a quote by George Bernard Shaw:
Death is for many of us the gate of hell; but we are inside on the way out, not outside on the way in.
This is an amazing write, and one of my favorites, I am book marking it. Living is hard dying is the easy part, for it is in death we find freedom and I love how you have stated it here:
And you don’t even realize
That you’re about to give birth.
I feel at times that living is the true Hell, there has got to be freedom after this torture don't you think? It is sometimes the only thought that gets me through the day. I only pray that I am not fooling myself...
Great writing Jaye, loved it. I would say good luck in the contest, but you know...in my mind you are already golden.
~B.
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This is such a truth....I once wrote a piece called Born to die...isn'that what it is...in between we can only trying to live...but not free no
bounds are keeping us tied to so many things...
Only in death we are free...although I for sure hope I will be bounded to your poetry for many many more years my friend
Great work here...it kept me bounded for some time, had to re-read it and think it over and over again...
Take care of yourself
XXJeannette
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