Spilled diamonds
whimpers hallowed pillows,
sweet breath etched whispers;
grown gray from constant cold,
dreary disused glass.
Feather floating
touching talisman,
blending remembrance, lost chances.
A contest entry
- twenty five by AJ Morelli.
2500 points, ended February 16, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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this is beautiful PK...
al -
A marvel of imagery in brevity. I really liked the alliteration and visual of "grown gray from constant cold,
dreary disused glass."
Best of luck in the contest!
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I thought I read those lines before.
lol -
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glad you noticed ... good to be noticed...PK
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...and if you read a few times, it grows on you, great job!
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Me too, the Imagery is pretty awsome!
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I get an image of the surroundings, keep writing...
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Such melancholy feel to this tightly woven piece. I get great images when I read. Nicely done. ~Pamela
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you have packed so much imagery into this for twenty five words..I feel the mood of this, those lost chances, after reading this poem, those 'hallowed pillows' - love that..
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