The truth is
I'm not that person
anymore
or at least
that's what
I tell myself
when I wake up
with the memory
And I don't think
it's your
fault anymore
Yet still
I find myself
thinking about it
and back in that mind frame
hating myself,
all that you made me
and wondering
why you never saved me
Never forgave me
for what
I could not control.
I want you to know
nothing at all.
I want you to forget
but still somehow regret
a tiny part of it.
I believe people now
when they tell me
I'm beautiful
I guess that makes me
fanciful.
Just a little.
But I suspect I always was.
It's just you talked it
out of me.
Beat it out of me.
Years later words remain.
Like poetry
recited, memorised,
and read again.
A contest entry
- Anything Goes by karmacae.
700 points, ended February 14, 2008, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pain/Hurt/Life scars. Release your pain to me by LanguishedLad.
450 points, ended April 24, 2008, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Real Meaning Of "Victim" by Poetess12.
900 points, ended May 3, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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The parts of your poem that stand out to me the most are, "The truth is I'm not that person anymore
or at least that's what I tell myself when I wake up with the memory and I don't think it's your fault anymore."
So much gets stuck in memory and it is hard to forget the things that we've done or gone through.
Thank you for your entry.
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This is a very strong and wonderful poem. You've done a great job expressing yourself in this piece. Keep up the good work
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Wow, this is such an emotionally powerful write, you could sense it in every word. Very very wonderful!
Keep writing!!!!
-hk
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It's very nice. I relate to it. -Tearyeyed
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I think this a very effective poem. You can sense the emotion of your writing in your every word and that makes it very powerful reading. I particuarly like how you used emjambment to emphasise certain words such as
"I'm not that person
anymore"
I felt the placement of anymore on it's own really highlighted the reflection of the poem and the sense of change. Have we not all looked at a picture of us from our past, and thought, how different I am to how I was?
I also really liked the ending of the poem. I think you really conveyed how enduring words can be. Isn't it amazing how some words, and lines of some poems can stick in your head. And sometimes you don't even have to learn them, it's almost as if you can't help but remember them.
The only slight criticism I have with the poem (and it's very small and subjective!) is that all your lines are very short. I think by varying the use of line length you could encorporate longer lines which enable deeper imagery. Also structuring a poem around stanazas might help the poem to have more development, if that make sense?
Overall though, I really liked it, and thought it was a very powerful piece.
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I really like this poem, you did a great job on this piece. I think that you did a great job on thinking out what you wanted to say.
~Maria
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wow great emotions good flow overall great =)
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Love is never said through fists...
The quote, "By our actions we are known"
can do much to put away the illusions in a relationship
for it doesn't matter how often "I love you" is said if
the actions of the hands don't say the same thing.
Many stay in an abusive relationship because of it and they believe they can change them, but change can ONLY come from self.
This line "all that (you made me)" shows the underlying problem of us humans for we have all pointed the finger of blame to others when in truth no one can "change" us
we can only "allow" them to do it.
The choice will always be ours. Once we fully comprehend that, then we regain our power and see that it was always our choice that lead us to where we currently stand and it can only be our choice that will take us away from that condition if unwanted.
We will do almost anything to feel loved, including lying to ourselves when it is no longer there. Denial is but the hope to regain the past and unfortunately the past is forever gone. We either grow together or we grow apart and our needs are often seen different by our parter who sometimes even puts theirs about ours and unless there is a balance of giving on both sides, it will not work out in the long run.
Almost all emotional pain is because of past events or future dreams and we have control over neither of those . The only thing we control is the NOW and which choice we will apply to that now. By seeing this we eliminate almost all pain and can truly live "in the moment".
Enjoy this moment for it will never happen again.
The only constant in the universe is change...
Hugs...Eddy
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Hey J
I felt alot of emotion come through when I read this. It made me feel guilty for the way I treated my younger bro when we were kids. But as C told me - it is excusable (to a point) when we are kids; but as adults it is not okay to treat each other badly. Well written as always. Lots of thinking and feeling in this one - it has affected me deeply. Yes, we do recite the bad stuff we hear, self-talk. It has been something I've worked myself through over the past years: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. It is a life-saver. All good, J
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Oh wow...
I relate to this a bit.
It made my stomach drop to think of it.
~Restless and True~
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