Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Just Keep the Love in Sight

Believe in your dreams
Wherever they may lead
Keep the love true inside
That mystic, crystal-clear love
Thriving inside you
Love is so delicate a feeling,
As benign as a bridal rose,
That forgetting the beauty that you once possessed
Could glaze right over your soul
Like a glue that you cannot be rid of
So abrupt that you forget to breathe
You slowly begin to asphyxiate
That loss of air forcing a whisper from your lips
You feel your life soar from you
And see it flutter, oblique in the wind in front of your eyes
Always just out of reach
And then you begin to remember
You reach back into your memories
Those miniature lives still thriving inside you
You force the plea for help from your mouth
And you begin to breathe
Your life begins to resume its normality
As the fresh aroma of life comes back to you,
Filling your lungs with air
You relish that feeling
You roar with such unending happiness and pleasure
And you swear to everyone and everything near you
That no one would mourn your soul again
At least not while an acute portion of your soul was there
Not while you could still see the lavender growing in the garden
Or sense the closure of arms around you
No one would accuse you of giving in again
Not ever again would you find leisure in defeating your inner soul
Letting your once opaque soul turn into a transparent mass of nothingness
Just keep the love in sight
And you’ll never be alone again

Author notes

Option 3
I used all of the words:
rose opaque bridal closure acute pleasure plea oblique lavender love leisure beauty crystal mystic asphyxiate benign accuse mourn glaze miniature abrupt whisper aroma roar relish resume soar delicate flutter believe

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • MrsJones
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Really interesting take on this, I like the fact that this is about the end result of coming out of a bad point in your life. It was well done, and thanks for entering.

  • Tempa Lee
    March 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hey this is Dani the judge of the contest. i meant to tell everybody that i will be as honest and harsh if i have to be. better hear the truth from someone now then the truth from the real critics later. i don't like it. although i can relate a little to it and the title for this poem was PERFECT...i thought you could have been more...more something. just something other than this. the title is great i just wish the words that you wrote were too. good lcuk though and sorry for being too harsh.


    ~Dani~

    • LaVieBohemme
      March 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      okay, thats fine.... im glad you were honest with me about iti'd rather know what someone really thinks than hear how great something is that really isnt. I hate it when people lie about their opinion! Thanks for your honesty!


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    January 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I thought this was ever so expressive. It made me feel beautiful, a feeling that is hard to find for me these days. True, it has been a good day. Nicely done!

1 - 6 of 6