as i walk down the hall
eyes become apparent
my secrets burried deeper
uncertainty takes hold
where stereotypes brand you
i speed my pace
as the world rushes by
my heart freezes in fear.
the eyes keep staring
as i stumble in tears.
they cannot look away
for they know who I am
its just too bad
i dont know the same.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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well i didnt hate it as much at clint, but i think that there could be some work done on it. like ellaborating on some of the unfinished ideas within the lines. devote some more time to devolping a single thought with all of those little sub ideas built around it. still love ya
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heyy i really appreciate the comment,
and lol you no clints was opposite right.
but anyway. i appreciate the advice and i no it needs work but on the developing ideas: the only way i could do that would be to conceal something i want to remain unknown. i leave alot of my stuff reallly reallly open so that everyone who reads it hears a different story. its not meant to be understood for the meaning i wrote it, its meant to be related to on any level any person wants to. -
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so yeah i basically realized that clints was opposite after i posted the comment but i really dont care =]. so yeah thats my story about that. and i understand concealing things in poems and now that you explained it, i do like it more, but i just dont think its my cup of tea (or some equally gay metaphor). yep, thats all i have to say about that
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That did not appeal to me at all. Everything about that was horrible, and there is no potential in that at all. Every second of reading that made me hate it more. It sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now....Take what i said, and reverse it all, and that's what im saying XD. Love you ang.
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thanx so much sweetie
love you too
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