In your face I see a lonely life time,
built around some secret hidden fears,
inside you're searching for a guideline,
down your cheek are tumbling many tears.
Tears, they run forever,
tears, meant just for one,
tears, soft as a feather,
you can count them one by one.
Gone is all the hope to love you,
dried up is the love you had inside,
gone are the dreams that never came true,
shut out from your heart of selfish pride.
Pride, can't last forever,
pride, belongs to one,
pride, cannot bring pleasure,
keeps you hidden from the sun.
In your eyes I see an empty life time,
built on a tragedy of years,
you are still searching for that guideline,
all you see are falling tears.
Tears, can't fall forever,
tears, can't hide the sun,
tears, are like the weather,
first there's rain and then there's sun.
Author notes
Moonbumps-daughter
A contest entry
- SEEKING AP FAMILY by Three Doves.
525 points, ended February 25, 2008, 36 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
To bring the light into the darkness was masterful in your closing. Your imagery compelled me to taste the salt within the tears. Thank you for presenting your fine poetry. Please enter your screen name and preference of choice for AP Family. Thank you.
-
Well done ( there was a recorded error when first attempted to comment,am trying again)
-
How True
what a beautiful picture andpoem to follow. You have a smooth flow to your poetry with a rhyme that is not forced. You have many wise and true words in this verse. I especially like the last four lines of your work. And so true "first there's rain and then there's sun. Of course I would get rid of the contractions in the last line. Maybe "first there is rain and then there is the sun. This is just me and my dislke if contractions. In poetry and writing.
-
Amazing imagery and emotion. Keep up the wonderful writing
-
This is very good. The ending gives hope to the sad undertones of your poem.This is really weird,but the song-I can see clearly now- just came on as I was typing this.First there's rain and then there's sun.
-
I can relate to this piece more than I want to and on so many levels. So many people would rather live a life of loneliness than to open up their hearts. A sad life indeed.
Soulful Woman
-
F***k
thats was amazing!
that would make a great song love your tripple words that broke up the bulk of explanation which held me to your every word.
excellent
well written good flow great metter.
keep writing -
Awesome Write Hilly Wow speechless. I really like this one alot. Keep up the great works Your writing just gets better and better. My goes the other lol.
-
Awesome
This poem is amazing and speaks volumes of truths within its journey from begining to end. The poem captivates its reader drawing them in and has them reflecting on the reality of its meaning. A beautiful write and one I am proud to have been able to read. All my best wishes Brian.
-
This is a stunning poem, one of your best to date.
It bought tears to my eyes reading it, because there are parts that I can associate with....
Thanks for sharing...
Love Suz xxxxx
-
Hilly this has to be one of the most beautiful writes you have done. The whole things just strikes a bond within my heart and the way I feel right now. I love every line and the flow and the impact of the whole thing. Very well done
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
