Three Ton Elephant Blues

(Slide guitar blues song)

Well, I went downtown
down the street
tryin' to find my baby sweet
to tell her that I love her
to tell her that I care
to tell her that I need
what she keeps in her underwear
but I never got to tell her
you know that it's true
because a three-ton elephant
stepped upon my shoe


They took me to the doctor
in the back of a jeep
there was fishbait in the backseat
and the driver was asleep
the doctor was a drunkard
and tried to treat my hand
I was hitting on the nurse
until I saw she was a man
and you know what I got
I got it bad, too
I got the three ton elephant
stepped on my shoe blues


So, I limped from the doctor's
headed for a bar
hoping one was near because
I couldn't walk to far
I found a little tavern
and dragged myself inside
I headed for the corner tryin'
to find a place to hide
when a big guy bumpped me
spilled all my beer
so I gave a right hook
right into his girlfriend's ear

Now, I knew I may have made
a big mistake, because
this little blonde proved
then times tougher than he was
she beat me swollen bloody
then when she had me pinned
I told her that I loved her
her boyfriend beat me up again
and you know what I got
I got it bad too
I got the three ton elephant
escaped from the zoo
hit on a nurse with
a sailor's tatoo
got in a fight
in a barroom, too
where some little blonde chick
made me all black and blue
and I'm hurtin' here
with an aching foot
in a swollen shoe
blues