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A Five Minute Moment

Cirlces in my mind

You

Me

Nothing?

Or something?

 

Maybe a cig will help

 

Fire at a flick

Whisps of smoke

And racing thoughts

 

They slow

 

The white earth

Becomes a twinkling sky

A naked tree

Becomes a contorted hand

Reaching for a white glowing orb

Which slowly moves from left to right

 

Ouch!

The cig is gone

And my mind returns

Back to its previous state

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • Easy Assumption
    February 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm sensing a common theme of pain in your poetry... but maybe I'm reading too much into it. Poetry, after all, relies on feelings, be they real or imagined.
    I like the overall movement of it.
    The word cig hits me kinda harshly...
    at first I thought it was too harsh... but now as I write this I wonder if that harshness doesn't add to the poem.
    Hmmmm... since I gave that last poem TWO applauds, I better give this one three.