We stood together at the water’s edge, you and I,
touching; eyes fixed on a painted fading sky
Time…
There is no warmth returning to this one pair
of blurred, unseeing eyes….why…I sigh…
A contest entry
- Simplicity of Goodbye by Darianna.
800 points, ended February 8, 2008, 21 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is such a perfect picture of the sadness that goodbye brings...especially painting a sunset as its backdrop...this is an amazing piece!!!
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beautiful picture you have painted with such little words, great job! enjoyed reading this short piece very much =)
good luck in the contest
stephanie -
You certainly captured goodbye well and painted it "sad."
Very visual and emotive piece you have written.
Best of luck in the contest.
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Oh. This is a nice little poem that you have going on here. It is sad though. I guess that's just what the contest was asking for so you're right on the money with that. I think that a lot of people will relate to this because we all know how it is to have to say goodbye to someone that we're very close to. You did a good job of expressing that.
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Good byes are so final, yes? Odd that we use it so much when it's the last thing we really mean, oh we might mean the good part, but I suspect we rarely ever mean the bye..
It isn't time to be cold yet..
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Smiles....it is cold...here and there...and good...I sometimes wonder....nice of you to visit...sighs...things are not as they were.... when we supped on each other....be well, my friend....
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painfully clear
with great clarity, this piece painfully expresses the cold emptiness that is often left after. am tempted to say "sorry you've had to go through this", but maybe it's more of an honor to have cared enough in the first place to feel this way in the end? For me, personally, it's a constant movement between both perspectives. Glad to see you online today.
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I don't know why I was about to write that this is a sad write...as this is a contest all about goodbyes...and they are generally not happy things...anyways...
This touched me right here *points to her heart* I've not been married long, but if I knew I was losing my John I would curl up into a little ball and bawl my eyes out. Even not being able to see him would put a pouty face on me.
This is a lovely take on the prompt. Thankyou so much for entering this poem into my contest! Good Luck!
Dari xxx
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