below the surface
tension
water deep
blue eye
cold as december
low moon
a skimming stone
beneath
i hold my breath
and wait
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upside under...
how come the absynthe and the merry weather microns won't stay mixed together when we turn our heads?
As Rumi always said:
Late, by myslef, in the boat of myself,
no light and no land anywhere,
cloudcover thick. I try to stay
just above the surface, yet I'm already under
and living within the ocean.
and i like the way you weave, man! fruit the loom and weave like a dreamer...
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This is powerful in that in reading it I get the feeling that the waiting can contniue indefinitely. Very well done, each word placed expertly.
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I AM IMPRESSED!
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Wow! I say no more
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Amazing, simply amazing. No words can describe this piece. I love how you used very little words, yet it's such a strong piece! Although, I'm not a big fan of this line: "water deep blue of an eye" I know what you were trying to say, but its still a little blunt on the meaning. Keep writting!
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Very tight, getting the mostest with the leastest . . .
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well shit,
you cant hold your breath forever!
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Second reading & the line break after surface is dynamic. The idea of tension beneath the surface, yes. Very good. This otherwise slow, sensual poem takes on another dimension.
Excellent, gorgeous work.
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imagery is remarkabled!
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Very Interesting.I like your style.Good to read you again, Ros
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I only wish I knew why this person is under the water, the way I read it, it isn't any fun for him. but the poem was beautiful.
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exhale!!!
wonderfully penned!
Peace and Love
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apart from the content which takes me everywhere ... gorgeous ...
i love what you did with line breaks and meaning ... making multiples within their own lines and following on ...
surface tension
tension water deep
deep blue of an eye
eye cold as december
december low moon
mebbe is just me ... but whatever ... i love it .. >> Gina
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thank you, you got it right
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I think you got gold for this one luv...
damn, I just screwed some paper up and flung it to the shredder
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You know, I don't have many faves on my list these days ... only a few. You're on there because you don't try to finesse your readers and you don't bullshit them.
Desiree
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This is one of the best comments I've ever received, thanks so much Des it means a lot to me
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lovely, as usual. < my tribute to e.e. That's about as talented as I get in these auspicious surroundings. KD
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I like that last image best. J
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Provacative
Very visual. Took a couple of reads as is my need and your want. Thanks for being an inspiration and the thoughts and the words. -
Good thing you can't enter your own contest, Al... this is wonderful poetry, filled with light and with such a subtle sensual touch about it...a long, deep breath...
beautiful!
~ Nicolette
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"low moon
a skimming stone
beneath"
A slow, sensual exhalation overflowing with luminescence, Al. Lovely, Poet. 
Wanda
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*echoes dia*
this wins the gold if i were the judge
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I love it when contest holders write an entry for their own contest. I like it even more when they do it so well.
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this is where you got the idea isn't it?
exhale...
xo
m
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thanks, i was starting to get dizzy...lol
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hey there's this contest...oh, nevermind.
Good thing.
Brilliant.
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