Tempest rage consumes the light,
as wind tunnels through into the night.
Onyx lakes swell in fury and rage,
as the black dove sparkles in her cage.
Crystals rain down, soft and slow,
enclosed tight within an ebony glow.
Dancing with reflections as images slide,
echo's whisper, before they subside.
Increasingly feathers drift to the ground,
ruffled plumes are coloured with sound.
The black doves call is compelling, surreal,
yet into the darkness, shadows do steal.
Beclouded haze begins to descend,
as vermilion ripples crest near the end.
Lapping upon the crystalline mass,
leaving their trail, as bold as brass.
All captured in the breeze of time,
memories played out in the mind.
Evading the lonely and stealing the cold,
fiery notions are not paved with gold.
Author notes
I suppose you could say I wrote this piece as a way of rebelling....I was feeling frustrated and trapped in my life and decided to to break 'my' usual boundaries in poetry. This is the end result, a far cry from what I would normally pen.
A contest entry
- TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME (Now 20,000+) Part 10 The Grand FINALE 5000+ Points! by cricketjeff.
5000 points, ended February 12, 2008, 46 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abstract PW allowed by BigE.
400 points, ended February 16, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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I loved it. Your use of imagery is stunning! Wow. I was carried away to this surrealistic fantasy - but not so unbelievable when one looks at the Universe, astronomy and physics. THank you for sharing this with us. It made me think of all of creation continuosly unfolding, just like your beautiful poem does.
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WoW...
You should rebel more often...this was beautiful and your vocabulary was fantastic...the flow was smooth and the imagery painte such an enchantingly lovely picture in my mind. It was a peaceful and serine poem written with exellence!!! Thank you for sharing this piece with me tonight!!!~~Toni~~ -
well i think this is outstanding poetry
i loved this poem i can relate to the whole poem
i like it just like you wrote it no parts better than another
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Wow this is amazing and so beautiful. I got lost in your wonderful words. Keep writing never put your pen down
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This poem flows nicely and has a good pace. Beautiful imagery with some thoughtful choices of words like beclouded and vermillion. Makes it interesting. Great write.
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This is lovely especially the second stanza, it all flows beautifully and wordy yet easy to understand.
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I hardly know how to comment on this other than to say perhaps I should stick to my day job! You have got such ability. Time for the pupil to start teaching me thinks. Beautiful.
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This is powerful and provocative writing. To me, there seems to be an element of 'as much as I know I cannot change things, I'm not going to concede without a fight first'
The wording was exquisite and well crafted.
You did an amazing job with this write!
Good luck in the contest!
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Your writing is just amazing to me.
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I love this one sissy! beautiful flow, excellent trip away from the darks
love ya! best to you in the contest~blesssings always~ Trisha
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This is poetry in perfection, my dear friend! Each stanza seem to capture me more than the last. Mezmerizing!!! Great piece. Blessings, Doris
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Ohhhh.. beautiful hun!! The rhyme was immaculate!
You still keep your unqiue style even when it isn't a dark as usual!
Loved it!
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Thanks hunni, thought I would try something a little different
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EXCELLENT TAKE ON THE PROMPT
your rhyme and flow are amazing..absolutely love the ending..
All captured in the breeze of time,
memories played out in the mind.
Evading the lonely and stealing the cold,
fiery notions are not paved with gold.
no, they aren't paved with gold..nor intentions..excellent write and thanx for sharing..best of luck in the contest..hugs a bunch..
for this..5 *****'s from me and of course 3 clappies
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Thank you for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed it
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you are good, reading this poem you are good, i mean this poem is strong with flow and just goodies thatkeep the mind wandering. keep it flowing
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Thank you I am pleased you like it. It is an odd one for me, not my usual theme but I kinda like it
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I love the wording in this...it's beautiful and so full of great images and emotion. (and I love your border, too!).
Read nicely. Well worded.
Good luck in your contest.
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The Black Dove is awesome my friend. The rhyme and imagery is superb. What happened? No blood anywhere in sight
.Beautiful flow and always a very captivating piece.
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