Would be of peace and love and free from hate
The brotherhood of man I would insist
Would occupy first place upon my list
If I were god no-one would need to pray
On earth there'd be no danger night or day
There’d be no hurricanes,but summer breezes
No thunder, lightning or diseases
If I were god no bombs would mankind need
There’d be no social system based on greed
No need for war,no need for devastation
No foreign rule,no economic exploitation
If I were god there’d be no death or sorrow
No worry what would happen on the ‘morrow
All births at their conception I’d control
No need for death to take it’s deadly toll
If I were god there’d be no need to slay
No species fear of being stalked as prey
Life could then subsist on vegetation
There’d be no need for wildlife preservation
IF I were god t’would be no mothers fate
A mongol child or spastic to await
Pregnancy would be of short duration
A painless and enjoyable occasion.
For those who think my views are A trifle odd
Don’t worry! I may never aspire to be your loving god
Author notes
JUDMC. Me...domicility unknown
A contest entry
- I want your BEST prewrites!! by perfectsunset.
1000 points, ended April 24, 2008, 60 entries
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500 points, ended June 7, 2008, 6 entries
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1000 points, ended June 30, 2008, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
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Bronze trophy winner
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800 points, ended June 12, 2008, 11 entries
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Bronze trophy winner
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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A very good poem provoking the reader to think. I personally believe that God did not create this world. He created Spirit and heaven, the Garden of Eden. Our spirit is his creation. This outer world, this body and the ego mind is a temporary shared dream by all of us. We fooled ourselves!

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Well, this worked fairly well. I do have to ask though if you feel that you could do a better job at being god than god? Didn't they make a movie about that? Bruce something...?

Good write though! -

I can see why this poem would be the recipient of so many trophies. It's not quite what I was looking for, but honestly, not a whole lot of entries were.
I enjoyed the read, and the idea. Wouldn't it be great, but on the other hand, terrifying as well? All that responsibility. . .All those miracles to perform and prayers to answer. I give you this: at least you believe there IS a God. Not many do these days.
Thank you again, love,
jin

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Very well done George and a provoctive idea. I wonder though if what we have in the confusion of life is nothing more than the natural process occuring for those of us at the top of the food chain. Good luck in the contest and happy trails
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"The brotherhood of man I would insist
Would occupy first place upon my list"
Excluding women? Or just a dodgy choice in wording?
Interesting, and I would be most interested [and open!] to see you being god, and how all this could unfold, for without pain, and war, and hate, people have often admitted that life would be monotonous.
We need daily joys and upsets to keep life interesting, HOWEVER naturally i am not saying that bombs and war and whatnot are good - nothing of the sort. controlling those would be a hgih achievemnet naturally.
the weather, not so much. to control the weather, would be to interfere even MORE with mother nature, which is somethign i could never agree with.
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Symphony
re your comments on "If I Were God" the "Brotherhood of Man" is a well known phrase meaning "Mankind" which believe it or not includes
women and children nothing "dodgy"about that.I can understand (living in a sick society as we both do)that you accept the inevitability of war, the wholesale murder of thousands of citizens in the pursuit of Iraqi oil.The Brotherhood of Man could only be achieved with the total abolition of a society where maximum profit for the few was the prime motive for pruducing commodities, not the needs of the people
the conflict between needs and profit always (like at the moment )results in a slump and eventually unemployment and war.
Best Wishes George ++++
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The last two lines are funny in a gentle way. As for the rest, well it's a nice dream but what would we do with ourselves if there were no problems to solve?
Enjoyed your write.
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judyjudyjudy
Glad you liked the last 2 lines of "If I Were God" I am puzzled as to what problems you would like left unsolved to keep us busy. Cancer, Motor neurone disease, multiple sclerosis, Downs Syndrome, M.R.S.A., Leprosy, Tsunami, Arthritis, etc. As the chinese peasants said to Mau when he took the land from feudal landlords and shared it out amongst the poor landless peasants "Who will we pay our debts to now". ? Get My Drift ? Best Wishes and Kind Regards George ++++
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BRAVO BRAVO!!!
Wow I reallllly like this here, because i can agree with it. I always have thought before, and questioned, if there was a god, I'm sure that if he had the choice and power to have peace like he wants, he wouldnt go through the trouble of making this world filled with flaws and the bullshit we have to live through everyday. We'd be perfect beings, because it would be controlled by a god, i mean, it makes sense, its logical. Why any religious person would deny that, and say "Well he gave us freewill, as a way to judge", I HATE THAT RESPONSE ITS STUPIDITY! You really communicated that idea here, that from the point of view of a god, why would there be any need, if you're in control, to make people just for the reason of accepting you? That makes no sense. If god were real he would have wanted to make something better, if he is so perfect he would have wanted to make a perfect world. But its odd, that god seems to have the mindset of whatever generation spreads the word of him- Since god is a creation of human nature, it resembles very closely the human mind, of perfection yet corruption, of peace with war, of idealism with flaws. People make their god to satisfy how they think, the patterns of human nature. God wouldn't have had human nature, he would have just been god. It's all very much a load of bullshit, and i cant stand it. That is why I definately love this poem, because you write it in such a creative way, that you use the point of view of a god to imply the fact that there cant be a god, its brilliant!
Good luck in this contest! BRAVO

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WAHRevolition
Many Thanks for your kind extensive comments on
"IF I Were God" Glad you liked it.Best Wishes George
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This was cute and beautiful. I really enjoyed it. My only question is this...Didn't God create a world of peace and harmony as you would? We could create it now as simple, ordinary people if we would only try. Human faults are that which lead us to sin and destruction. However this piece was really good. I enjoyed reading it. If you were God and you did create a world such as you said and manage to keep it that way as he apperently could not and did not then I may be a more religious peron.
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You've done well in expression here, congrats.
I must ask you some important questions and it
is in regards to your poem. I hope you leave this here for future readers.
First,
•do you agree the the freedom of choice is a wonderful gift for us all to have?
•And do you agree that many of us make the wrong choices in life and thus cause much pain and suffering to others?
•If our children refuse to listen to us when we say that there will be consequences for their actions, what would you do? Beat them or allow them to make their mistake and find out the hard way that we as parent were right all along?
•If we are a good and loving parent, wouldn't we allow them to experience these consequenses, for a time, so that they'll never resort to making such a mistake again?
Keeping these questions in mind we can consider that the book of Genesis states that God created the earth for humans and animals to dwell in peace and he placed them all in a paradise (garden of Eden). If we read the first two chapters of Genesis, we'll see that the earth was in peace entirely during their obedience to God.
All of the issues risen in this poem had risen after the first humans disobeyed God's command to stay away from 'one' of the trees that was in the center of the garden.
In chapter three of Genesis we'll see that an angel decided to mislead the first woman, Eve, into eating the fruit of that one tree. He deceaved her with cunning speach. In chapter 3 we'll see that Eve was not stupid, she told that angel that it is wrong to eat of that tree, but she let herself be mislead, she ate and later gave some to her husband Adam, he ate, now, we are in turmoil today because they decided to make the wrong choice.
They had children, after they sinned, and imperfection was inherited by all their children.
These two persons put earth in it's bad condition through their lack of obedience, not God.
If we view God as a parent while reading the first 4 chapters Of Genesis, we will view him not as a cruel person but as a wise and loving parent.

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impatient-woman
Many thanks for your lengthy comments on "If I Were God"
Freedom of choice presupposes that we can have what we want
quite a small proportion of the population own 95% of the wealth in the U.S. What freedom of choice do millions of
starving Africans have.Or what choice do poor americans
who can't afford medical insurance have.
Much of the juvenile delinquancy is caused by parents
who don't set their children a good example.
Most church dignitaries have ceased defending the bible
as a true reflection of human history which depicts God as a punitive vengeful fire and brimstone entity.
Thousands of "Near Death Experiencers" of every religeos persuasion all discovered a "God of unconditional Love"
and forgiveness and consequently no Hell.
Best Wishes and kindest regards George +++
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Thank you for your entry. Are you actually trying to tell me who you are through this poem? I realize it's a prewrite, so it's obviously a little different from actually telling me about yourself. However, I believe our wishes are certainly a huge part of who we are. You are a person who wishes life to be easier, but that makes me remember a quote, but I don't know where it's from. "Into each life some rain must fall." And you can't really know how good life is if you don't know of the bad. Again thank you very much for entering my contest. Patricia


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pattyann4500
Many Thanks for accepting my entry.For a person to describe
who or what they are leads usually to either false modesty or arrogance what a poet writes usually gives a clue to what makes them tick.The adage "You cant know how good life is" etc. appears in my poem entitled "Life"
the counterpart to that is, "is the appreciation of a "Good Life" more important than eliminating the bad aspects of it"
and why MUST rain fall into everyone's life Patricia
Best Wishes and Kindest Regards George ++++
P.S. Thanks for putting up with me. -
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Not at all. I don't consider it putting up with you. I loved your poem. I know that hardships will plague us all, and that's the rain. Of course, I'm one of those who loves a good rain storm, so I work well in the rain.
I'll have to read "Life." I enjoyed this one, and I'm sure I'll enjoy it as well. I am priviledged that you chose to place an entry in my contest. I do hope you'll look for my next one. It will be up soon. Also, if you do graphics, I have one up now. I always enjoy making new friend. So, what shall I call you?
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This is amazing and gave me chills. I couldn't agree with you more on a lot of things.
Thanks for your entry
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Nicely done.
This is nicely done and it all worked out very well. You did a beautiful job throughout the entire writing of this poem. So I thank you for entering this contest.
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this is a beautiful poem
tho i personally believe in balance of the both
i believe once something is perfect that is it's end
tho i do not like are the cruelties harshness of humanity and the world
i still believe in a balance -
In order for you to create your perfect utopia you'd have to ensure that mankind had no free will, which would cause us all to be puppets or robots. Isn't it better when humans show beauty when they have the choice of evil?
Anyway this is a profound poem and you obviously put a lot of thought into it. I do love the beautiful imagery you conjure up.
Peace Georgia

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asianlight
many thanks for your kind comments on "If I Were God"
the word utopia is trotted out to express something that is
deemed impossible.The term "Free Will presupposes that you
are able to do as you wish whereas in your country for example if you are ill and are too poor to afford health insurance you stay ill,the more money you have the more free will you have.Who would want to choose between good and evil when there is no evil.As far as puppets are concerned anyone who has seen an american election primary
can see thousands of brainwashed examples.
In my view there are two alternatives in life
Love and Hate and i'm all for love whether they are Iraqis
Vietnamese or the people from the so called "Axis of evil"
and every creature on this planet.
do you still like my poem? Kindest Wishes and love to all
George ++++
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This was a truly beautiful piece of art you have penned with words. Thank you for your most lovely entry & best of luck
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bella babie
Many Thanks for your kind, favourable comments
on "If I were God".I was rather surprised to
find that it wasn't even listed as having been entered in the contest,was this a mistake
or was it D.Q.ed ? Best Wishes George
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Good
An interesting ramble though our belief systems with a description of the building blocks that form the icons of our culture. A good soul questioning piece that fights with the age long question of "who or what am I", seeking answers that are not easily available, even in one's faith pain exist. Your young enough to fantasize about it and old enough to know better.

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This is a beautiful poem. I like the rhyme and the message throughout seems to be of love and peace. I like the idea of there being no war. Peace always seems like one of those never ending dreams that people wish would happen in the world, but it unfortunately never seems to be the case. We are always stuck in this world of war and chaos. Keep that pen flowing.


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A perfect wish
You have depicted the mind of a noble human being. I also aspire to see such a world. But such an ideal place, I think, is not a reality. It remains always an ideal to achieve. But with all our great efforts, man definitely can reach near to it and that is what the whole creation all the time aspires. Wish you all the best.

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S andip Saha
Many thanks for your kind comments on"If were god
Try my "Little Girl" on for size it might just fit you
if it doesn't try"Hit And Run" Aren't I Cheeky?.
I'l be back on your patch shortly JUDMC(GEORGE)
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Damn good George words that encompass most of our aspirations concerning a utopian society. Great closing line as well. Hope this message finds you well. Happy trails
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Very interesting write Dear don't think I ever saw something like this. Nice Work. RedwingSpirit




















