Their lips touch,
so warm and so fine.
They're filled with lust,
and hearts combined.
So warm and so fine,
the room is candle lit.
And hearts combined
so perfectly fit.
The room is candle lit,
shadows flicker and dance.
So perfectly fit
they reconnect hands.
Shadows flicker and dance,
In their nervous eyes.
They reconnect hands,
in the warmth of the sky.
In their nervous eyes,
they're filled with lust.
In the warmth of the sky,
Their lips touch.
Author notes
5. Passion?? i guess.
A contest entry
- Adult Valentine Memoirs for Fantasy World Group & AP by ennovy.
950 points, ended February 3, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Not satisfied with an honorable mention? by SilverInk.
600 points, ended February 21, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Passion is certainly present
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Hmm, this kind of sounds sing songy. Ever think about adding some music to it? With that said, I see you used a bit of repetition. Unfortunately I don't really think the repetition helped your poem out much in this case. It's a warm poem, filled with lots of love and you can really tell from the way you have written it, so kudos to that. Overall, not bad. Good luck in the contest!
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wow
I think this is good. Not as goreat as some of your others, but good! I like how you made some of the lines move up each stanza. I still think rhyming is your strong point.
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Yes, I can certainly feel a lot of passion here.
Thanks so much for entering our contest.
Brazos -
This certainly shows passion and am happy that you done such a excellent job...thank for entering our contest..........
novy
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