For me its also been about 5 years
since i felt all the pain
it started happening after i had my daughter
i feel like an old woman in a young ones body
they say its fibromylagia but i wonder sometimes if it lupus
i have to have blood tests alot which i hate
needles being poked through me
but then again the widespread pain is worse
most people around me think im crazy or just lazy
its even affected my little girl
i often have no energy to do the things we used to do
its to hard usually to talk about what im going through
im currently not on any meds
which is enough to drive me crazy
as i type now my hands are stiff and tingly
feet the same as them
finally i have found some people
that go through everything i do
i havent had no one that understood
until now and i thank you all for all your help.
Author notes
Option 2
thanks for all that you people do to help us with disabilities.
A contest entry
- Poetry and writing workshop in honor of people with disabilities. 1600 points! by kareneisenlord.
1400 points, ended January 29, 2008, 44 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I am very moved; and so pleased that you have found people that understand you.
You could be writing about me! I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia five years ago and now they think I may have Lupus. I am not looking forward to all of those tests for it!
For years, people (the medical profession even), would say it's "in my head" - like they said to my mother when she had a brain tumor! It was on sheer will-power that I kept going. I raised two children, went back to school and worked, thinking it was just a matter of being strong. In between, I kept going to doctors and saying, "something is wrong". Even though I had hypothyroidism, they couldn't find anything else wrong.
I drove myself to the point of exhaustion. I did anything to keep going. Finally, five years ago, my body collapsed. THe pain was everywhere. I was overwhelmed with weakness and dizziness. Then, my husband got sick and passed away. I never recovered.
Well, this is my sob story. It is similar to yours in many ways. I hope that you can get the help that you need to improve your quality of life, so that you don't "run on empty".
I think that balance is the key. FInd time to nurture yourself. Accept your limitations, and get enough rest. Quality sleep is important, and enough of it. I know it's hard with a child. These are goals you should work on. Above all, enjoy your life and enjoy your child. They grow up fast!
Thank you for entering the contest! -
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There was something emotional about this response because it brought tears to my eyes. I do try and get enough sleep but it seems no matter how much i feel like i am running on empty as you say. My bf thinks im just lazy though i walk a mile to the store as often as i can and dont sit on my butt all the time. He also says he dont want to be with a "handicapped person" which he just said the other day. I cant even begin to tell u how that made me feel. I dont really want to get into talking about that. Im miserable with my life, yet everytime i get on ap i seem to smile more and i love all my friends on here. Alot going on but i have to make it. Im also going to go to college within a year,. whenever i get my butt around to get my transcripts. And i think once i get a job again, my quality of life will be better. i go crazy being at home all the time. Thanks for replying, sorry for this large response, thanks for everything.
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I know exactly what you mean about never feeling like you get enough sleep. Nomatter what, I am always tired too. I never wake up refreshed. I feel like something is sucking the life and energy out of me all the time!
I am saddened to hear that your boyfriend said that. It reminded me of my stepfather saying my mother was a cripple,(after she became disabled), and him saying to me, that I "always did like cripples". Ugly. He died of brain cancer. I don't wish ill on anyone, but I do believe that things come back to people like that.
I'm glad that you found allpoetry and that it makes you smile and gives you support. I have always felt that also, more so than any other support group. I guess because these are fellow poets, and we have that in common. I take a break once in a while from it, but I always come back.
Walking is excellent for fibromyalgia. That's something I need to do more of. Keeping occupied is good; like going back to school and/or working; as long as you don't overdo it. In my case, I believe that it was doing too much for too long that put me over the edge; and I never recovered. At one point I was raising two children, working three part time jobs and taking classes. I don't know how; I guess I was a workaholic. It was after my husband became ill and passed away, that I got really bad, and that was it for me.
Anyway, we will talk more. There's a forum on our people with disabilities group page that we can talk more on.
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You are a better person
for having the courage
to rise each morning
and get beyond yet another
day, and for that I am
honoured to know you dear.
My best to you in the winning!
Keep penning,
be strong, have faith
friends are among you:
~The INC."
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Thanks so much for everything.
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