Girl your head's
Going to be
Filled with lead
Can't you see
What you're doing to me
Wipe that disgrace
Off your face
Look and see
What you've done to me
And its not all right
Girl you look bored
I wish every danger
Wouldn't make you such a stranger
What's the deal
Can't you feel
What I'm dealing with
But its all right
Girl come on now
I'll show you how
To deal with this
But not tonight
Cause your head
Is going to be
Filled with lead
You won't be able
To hide
All the pain, pity
Or insecurity
You've been locked in that house
Making you
Insecure to me
Don't pull that trigger
For all that pain you've caused me
Let me make it
Not so bad
Let me make it
Assisted suicide
Let me make it
Not so bad
Let me make it
Assisted suicide
Author notes
i wrote this poem YEARS ago, when i thought assisted suicide was better than regular suicide or murder.
Don't yell at me, i realize all 3 are just as bad now.
Crazy-Dan
In a list
A contest entry
- Dark~Like~Me by Dak.
550 points, ended January 24, 2008, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Dearest Most Beautiful Mistake by teaa sarrr.
300 points, ended January 28, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Why Not Be Different by wingsofgold25.
900 points, ended January 30, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Love it
Its great. Its really well written. -
A very well written piece and I agree with you suicide is suicide regardless how it is done.
Good Lock in the contest and thanks for entering. -
I liked the use of assisted suicide, even if it didnt give you what you were actually looking for, it gives it a scathing edge, like let me help you fill your head with lead, dont do it all by yourself- its kind of caring and sadistic all at once....
I liked
Girl your head's
Going to be
Filled with lead
Can't you see
What you're doing to me
Look and see
What you've done to me
And its not all right
Girl come on now
I'll show you how
To deal with this
But not tonight
Cause your head
Is going to be
Filled with lead
Don't pull that trigger
For all that pain you've caused me
Let me make it
Not so bad
Let me make it
Assisted suicide....
yup cant get over the use of assisted suicide, i like it, I wouldnt be apologising for it Id be claiming it
Its beautifully bitter,and sarcastic, its darkly helpful
Anyway its metaphorical suicide, it doesnt promote a bad message in my book, maybe not a lovely christian message, either, but thats what makes it good
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Hah, even if I agree more with your author notes then your poem, I like the way you can read it almost like a song, it flows so smoothly. The emotion is clearly present in here too. :]
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aww, this was an awesome write, it was soo sad, and I could feel the emotion in it. I loved this
keep writing
~Ashley~<3
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