HA.
i said and breathed
into her contracted lungs
attempting to find some humor in
this lack of heat, your laundry room
tumbling cunning and dehydrating your socks
we giggled when you regained conciousness and tucked ourselves
under my down comforter to listen to
some really old radio show
your dad still had
on tape
you refused to start crying and i acknowledged this
strength of yours to fight the urge
face turned slightly away to avoid eye contact
i shuffled snow out of my jean cuffs
and asked you to please, just, listen, that i love-
and told me i was brutal, to leave
you in the winter cold this late in the game so i
assured with a stare
i'd be here
next january.
fine, you said and breathed
in my general direction, so i took that as
a good thing and grabbed your fingertip
put it on my nose, grinned and whispered
feel how cold.
Author notes
Suddenly I miss her.
This is about our childhood, basically. And...winter. January really gets me.
A contest entry
- Winter by grass.
650 points, ended February 6, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - immeasurable. by girl shaman.
1150 points, ended February 24, 2008, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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well i can relate; febuary gets to me most of the time but im sure i couldnt turn into a creative piece like this!
the ending was adorable...
i find it sweet sadness underlined in every word.
very beautiful chick
thank you for entering i appreciate it ! -
I love, love, love this.
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i loved the begining, it was so clever and smart. but the end was adorable for sure
i know certain months fuel long lost memorys for me as well and you've expressed it beautifully.
♥
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This poem is beautiful and sad, and I hope the story beyond the page is a happy one. :-) Thank you for writing something that puts me into the emotions of the poem's speaker. I was able to feel a small smidgen of the longing that he must have felt.
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psh, who said the person was a man?
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pretty.
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i really like this, especially the way it all gets wrapped up at the end. its got a sweetness to it.
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AHHHH x_x this is way to sad and heartaching and childish yet way too far. This makes me so sad, I hope nothing like this ever happens to me!
Is this a true story, or just memories pieced together? Whatever it is, these thoughts shouldn't be! =[
Can i ask you what her name was? You probably said it in a previous poem but I dont remember. You write about her alot eh? Anyway I love this, it touched me deeply like this is real heartache. ♥
xoxo<3
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