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conception

every day i awake
to look forward to nothing at all
still fazed from the nightmares
of a pitch dark twilight
still fighting the fog of all conception
come back to this world
dont live in the past this is now
how is it I'm lost in this simple occasion
it was a basic hour
its not easy to overpower
its time to leave
you will be fine just get up and keep living your lie


A contest entry

comment plz dont be harsh

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • vici377
    February 10, 2008

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    your spelling..can be fixed by spellcheck when you write the poem..you must click it twice though..you have great emotion..with some punctuation and correct spelling..(which is difficult..but remember this is a learning process)..you can really pack a punch...we all have something to learn..always strive to be better..and remember you can always edit..blessings,
    robin


  • Luminescence
    February 8, 2008

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    I liked the simpleness of the poem, but at the same time you used good imagrey and it had great flow.....

    one thing that i didn't like was that there was a lot of misspelling and how you used chat speak.... where you said u instead of you.... there wasn't any grammer either....

    besides that though it was a great poem and I loved you last line...

    Thank you for entering and good luck

    ~Lumin


    • SecondStorySuicide
      February 11, 2008
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      thx

      i checked my spelling by the way

    • SecondStorySuicide
      February 9, 2008
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      i fixed the comp talk stuff for you sry about that i got in the habit of doing it but im not a good speller an im sry about that =/ hoped u like it


  • takenfromgrace
    February 5, 2008

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    Wow that's really one of teh best short and to the point writes i've ever read. It's a great write. ^^

1 - 5 of 5