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soilwork

a single colorless seed sinks
through earthen top soil
- darkest confinement of life

i sprout from thick bed sheets
headfirst stretch forth pale
newborn limbs reach
toward luminate mother sunlight magnified
traverses thick-glassed translucent pane 
photosynthesize
my meekest hide

morning.












































how was the imagery? could you follow my shifty syntax?

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Comments

  • Really great

    I don't think I've read a poem so nicely written in a long while. The imagery is great, it flows, and is very profound. Nice going.


  • MoonLady gold member
    April 14, 2008

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    Good imagery!

    I like short poems, as they must capture the essence of their subject in a limited number of words and lines. This is always a challenge and doesn't always work well in terms of the end result. However, I liked the imagery in this poem and the switch to the POV of the seedling. The alliteration is quite a tongue-twisting experience, especially when reading the poem out loud!

    Dannan


  • film
    February 9, 2008
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    i sprout from thick bed sheets

    oh man, that was beautiful. and yes, the imagery was followable.