I told her everything would be okay.
But I was wrong.
I thought everything would be okay.
How could I have been so wrong?
The ashes of my cigarette
Mix with the tide as they fall.
The fire is extinguished with the cold of the water,
Like a fire of hope
Dying as the ice of reality seeps in.
And as I toss my beaten cigarette out into the waves,
The rapids pull it from my gaze.
It is as if I've thrown my aching heart along with it,
And the cutting rocks beneath the stormy surface-
So much like the cruelty of life-
Cut it into fine pieces
Until my emotions are dead,
Cold,
Like the rocks that broke it apart.
Another cigarette burns;
Another tide that sizzles.
Another hope sears;
Another reality that destroys.
Like a tide's instinct to perish a lone bud of nicotine,
It is a human's instinct to hope,
And hope's instinct to crumble.
To get past that instinct
Is another story,
Another foolish problem to face.
So as the fire is extinguished,
Hope has no fighting chance.
And a chance is one I am not given.
Author notes
Constest: Option 7, vespasien, A beautiful Lie (yay for 30 seconds to mars!)
A contest entry
- Nature by Random Goldfish.
500 points, ended February 17, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING IN THE WORLD!!!! 1000 pts. by Rdy2begorgeous.
1000 points, ended February 21, 2008, 64 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From January 2008 by amaranthine lover.
2550 points, ended February 22, 2008, 55 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes & Fresh Writes by LadyUnique.
400 points, ended March 7, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options Contest by Simply Simple.
1000 points, ended June 7, 2008, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me Everything you've Got by CrystalJet.
600 points, ended March 14, 2008, 318 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is a wonderful poem, so full of sad emotion. You have done a great job with the visuals, very smooth to read. Best of luck in the contest
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Thank you for this entry. I really loved it. It definiately fit the option. So interesting and vivid. Truly beautiful. And yay!!! Someone recognized the song! Good luck in the contest.


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how sad this is
it's tough to describe hopelessness but you've done a pretty good job of that
thanks for entering and good luck
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I really do love this piece
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This is awesome. I love the wonderful imagery. There is nothing I would change in the piece. Shancy.


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Well now, this is very unique. The symbolism in the cigarette brings out a very wonderful quality to this poem.
Síochán leat
~Mairéad~
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This is AMAZING. The word usage is so descriptive and captivating. I imagine myself lost in the tides of your words.
Like a tide's instinct to perish a lone bud of nicotine,
It is a human's instinct to hope,
And hope's instinct to crumble.
I think that was my favorite part. Never, in a million years, have I come up with something that awesome. That true. 3 for you!

1 - 7 of 7






