Standing, notwithstanding in
languages within present tense,
fumbling keys shaking as lacquer
coaxed words fell; translucent
paraphrases collided leaving only
markings of tomorrow…
Repetition escalading, and resemblances tripped
end over end but somehow, answering machines
recording esculent reverberations
And, dimmed were the streetlamp
lights outside blinking back recollective
members of theory yet cubicle-sized realization
paraded beyond windowless window-shoppers
Thrown paraplegic wheels now cradled
dust-ridden buildings in a movement of
art noveau – pop art was deemed unknown
by tinted, tilted hues
In a list
A contest entry
- For My Teachers (5300 points) by just rob.
5000 points, ended March 1, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Celticmoon's and Leander's glue a trophy on my Prewrite by leander.
800 points, ended March 27, 2008, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Ooh, great use of poetic devices in this one - and I quite like that as you probably know
I had to read it three times through to be able to grasp everything you've put inside these lines, but that's good, since you make the reader think
thank you for this entry - the best of luck
Leander -
The vocabulary in this one is outstanding. An excellent abstract piece and I really dig the last stanza, though the first one really kicks arse too
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NO one does abstract quite like you Rae.
Your wrds always have a way of commanding the reader to stop and take notice and here you really slip inside the minds and make them think deeply.
Not many writers can do that.
Thank you for entering!
Best of luck to you!
Blessing
Bel
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Love that last stanza and all the places within the poem that make the reader pause, and think. Brilliant use of poetic devices...
"Thrown paraplegic wheels now cradled
dust-ridden buildings in a movement of
art [nouveau]"
Dayem...I see the abstract vividly! I wish you well in the contest Love!
Much Love & Many Blessings ♥
Your Big Sis'
Renee
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Er ... More metaphors there than at a "poets who can't speak simple" convention.
Sorry I read it only the once and never got around to understanding it.
It's probably very good. Well, let's hope so. I'm sure it is, to those in the know. -
Ahhh... another of your deep, pointed and superb writes I'm always captivated by your poetry and end up reading it over and over again to absorb the meaningful thoughts
Excellent
Dee
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I could see you standing before a microphone, hands moving elegantly, making your points with this B.
By the way how ya doing?
How would you say it? Testifying, electrifying leaving them gratified
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This one really takes the mind on a trip. The images were going through my mind like a decade of turmoil trying to fit into a thimble :)) Very well done and your vocabulary is outstanding. Bravo! I think I need more coffee :))
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Fascinating
This was a five-reader. Nuff said.
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lol ty
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i come back a little smarter and just amazed after reading one of your poems, thank you for sharing this one, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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