I hold in the Anger that burns deep inside of me,
It wishes to be something that it is not,
To fit in,
To be normal,
but The anger knows that It will never be,
It sits in rest,
waiting to break free,
It burns so deep inside of me,
The anger inside of me just wants to burst out like a raging animal,
Like a wolf stalking its pray silently through the night,
To kill all life around me,
To release its fury on all humanity,
It sits in waiting,
ready to burst at any moment,
ready to take on all humanity,
ready to kill everything around it,
Everything in its path will turn to ash and rubble with a single touch,
Flames will rise from the depths of hell to consume everything,
Nothing will be safe from the anger inside.
A contest entry
- Make Me Cry by dead-love-for-fun.
600 points, ended March 1, 2008, 34 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
wonderful
-
I love this so much
-
This is nice piece of prose that has a lot of potential. I think the you final couplet exemplifies what this poem could evolve into. My suggestions for refining this poem is first proofread i think you meant fury instead of furry. Second i think that when your anger wants to burst out like a raging animal and then u say it sits in rest in kind of contradictory. If u say its like a raging animal draw symbolic comparisons so the reader can see the animal in their mind. Also i think the poem would have a nice flow if u started with the line "I wish to be something I am not, to fit in, to be normal, but the anger knows it will it never be... But those are just my suggestions try it see if u like it. Can't wait to see more of your stuff.
-
-
Hello
Thank you for your suggestions. Im not a very good speller when i am angry most of the time. I'll try a few of your suggestions and post more poems if you like ^.^ thanks again.
-
Adding your comment:
