Life is an animated corpse
And to you I suffered, a victim
lost within serenity’s folds
strangely lavished with affection
No remorse, only chilled bones
In a list
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Ummm
Uniquely resound of disembodied minds. Gives a another meaning to writing
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sad
sad and unusual write about life . . liked "Life is an animated corpse" and "No remorse, only chilled bones" . . brrrr!!
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yeah this is the poem i wanted to have another look at, i was thinking about it earlier - it is great how you initially have one mood of dark then once one looks it is a light piece, i will have to try and emulate this
the title says dark but the poem is light with emotion, a good way to challenge the reader. i think most would go by that dark imagery with the title and not see, maybe.
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a strange mixture here, it at first appears to be a dark poem but when a closer look is taken it is quite light, lost in serenity's folds i see as nice and smiling, lavished with affection, an optical illusion poem here, very good.
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Need to step back and let the thoughts run with this one! Rather a sad piece, well chosen words - great image.
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Interesting, thought provoking piece..short...dark..yet strangely ...deep/profound...definitely thought provoking indeed..makes the reader stop and ponder.
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This is an interesting piece that's for sure. You have some real great thoughts my friend.
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What a thought
Give a grime vision indeed -
Hey, .............I think you nailed it! Dead people walkin'...............good job!
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This is so sad
I get the feeling that these are the thoughts of a person so lost from chemicals they only see the sickness from within
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That's an interpretation I'd not thought of. Interesting. Now the perspective it was written about but I can see it. It's was actually written more from the perspective of a person stifled by one that is supposed to "love" them But I do love that about poetry, it leaves interpretations open for the reader
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Wonderful
Very powerful and so well done. Congratulations on your honorable mention.
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Sort of the unaware becoming acutely aware shattering serenity's resolve in reading this. You've infused so much depth of emotion and forethought into a brief verse well.
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The punch of your closing line really packs a hell of a hit. Strong, powerful and solid! There is nothing more that need be said. Thank you for entering and best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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Wow, a kind of eerie sadness here. I like the way you separated the first and last lines from the rest and the use of rhyme. Lost within serenity's folds is a great line, really makes me think. What a great piece you have here in so few words. Good luck in the comp
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hey! long time no see! yes, i'm back, at least for now, and writing again, lots has happened of late, some of which we'll have to talk about sometime. great piece! good luck in the contest!
mike
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Hmmm... I usually write dark stuff like this too, but I decided to take a different spin on the picture this time. This is brilliant... Good luck in the contest!
Laura, aka Immortal
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prompt is up!
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