You are my candytuft, always smiling,
always understanding. Through
perpetually telling the truth you became
my roof, concealing the rain from
unwanted prying eyes through hardback.
But everblack.
In the course of rain clouds drawn with
fears, plucked from nowhere and delivered
in tears surging from careless pen onto
lilac page. I present my concealed rage,
for you are my stage.
But everblack
You are hostile to any snooping eye
surreptitiously stumbling upon you.
You stun through alarm. A beast only I
could tame for I created your heart
and scribbled down your name. You are eager.
But everblack
Through your acceptance my doodles
turn violent, ripping, spitting and almost
tearing through the pages. Everything
I think is portrayed through ink, you try
and silence me but I win. You stay calm.
But everblack
You are so happy, so accepting I
sometimes feel guilty, but then I realize,
you tricked me, I am you…
But everblack…
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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"But everblack." Put a space between ever and black
Different but i enjoyed reading this. How at first relating it as someone else but finding out that its really you. Very well done. Thank you for sharing this with us. -
refreshing, but ever black
It is a very interesting write up. the flow is good too. though it breaks at a few points. But, that can be poetic license.
Lines I love-
"Everything
I think is portrayed through ink, you try
and silence me but I win."
"plucked from nowhere and delivered
in tears " -
I love that every stanza ends with "everblack". it adds something to it. This was very well written to. very enjoyable and descriptive. great write! keep up the good work!
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Interesting use of repetition- I think we were expecting it again at the end, but understood why you didn't repeat it one more time... I didn't enjoy the dark colors, I generally like to be able to see the poem to read it, but I guess its personal choice...
Thanks for featuring and sharing,
Shirley
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I Love it, it's twisted and so carefully done. I liked the repetition of "but everblack" as well, it added a kind of calm eerie quality to it. I especially like your word choice too, your descriptive language is flawless. It's also something I think a lot of dark poets can relate to, just a outlet for all the rage and anger and fear. Great Job!
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Contrary to the poet below me, i think the background*, and text coloring added nicely to the overall feel of the piece. Powerful write, i really enjoyed it.
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boooooooooooooooooooh
your bachground - text coloring is absolutely horrendeous. grey on grey. such a shame would have loved to read your stuff -
I like this our book of life that holds so much cover in our heart I really like this you keep your words flowing because this my brother is what you are good at this is a nice piece love you loads upon loads
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powerful write..
but I must reserve comment. It is a dark piece, with many images and ideas. I need to read it again after some sleep. Larkin
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WOW!
Unique! Different! This was awesome to me. I am new to writing poetry and this seems like a terrific write to me. I hope to be able to express myself that well, one day and on such a topic. A topic so rare.
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Intriguing
I'd like to know where this poem came from out of your muse. I mean you rewally thrown a loop for us all through out this poem and yet you still managed to catch the tiger by its toe LOL! any ways this is a very complexing yet well written poem. my brain swirls in trying to figure out where this poem was going but then again I am nursing a hang over * don't ask * so nice write and 3 applauses from me
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This is confusing and deep
semi reflective and very interesting!
keep up the good work!
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