--
Like birds, you shoot one...
...and all will fly away
--
Author notes
*sweats*
hope you like this line ^_^
meh, not my best but oh well =P
A contest entry
- Got ten words? by Naridill.
380 points, ended January 20, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think will make this poem better
Comments
-
Like my previous comment,
again a bit too obvious for the reader's mind.
You take away the punch of the imagery
by giving the obvious ending.
Thank you for entering!
Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
-
I think the authors notes tips this one too far - the brevity was beautiful as is and seems a little over the top now. But still beautiful.
Thanks for entering,
Adding your comment:
