Apocalypse
in one
perfect
red apple.
Disastrous
downfall
of man.
At the
apple's core
lays a
foul
corruption
to seep
into
genetic
infrastructure
of mankind.
Author notes
Picture:: Original Sin
In a list
A contest entry
- Big Points, Big Expectations by Exodus.
4500 points, ended February 4, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Would have liked to see more spacing between the sentences not through them. But the phrasing caught there had sparks of imagery.
Thanks for entering,
Artist Credit was also required if you post image, please double check and edit either way. Thanks. -
I don't think the format worked as well as you hoped it would. I found it made reading the poem a little staccato. I think you told us what was going on more than showed us.
That isn't to say I didn't find the piece enjoyable.
Thank you
-
a powerfu write and a great inspiration from the picture. love the use of vocab well done and best of lck
-
A powerful write. A great connection with the picture. Awesome write for sure. I hope you do well in the contest.
Kelli
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