Her chosen path had seemed so crystal clear
But it gets lost in the maze as decades pass
Now in her silence she quietly sheds a tear
It cuts her face like a wisp of feathery glass
Her once pristine vision now filled with fear
She lost track of time on the clock of days
Heard dreams shatter for she was now blind
He succeeded to train her to follow his ways
A sweet lullaby is heard in her broken mind
and a childish song at a distance still plays
Her memories melted as he played his game
Finally disappearing within a violet cloud
She chokes on poison of the smoke and flame
And those ashes will forever be her shroud
She is falling and can’t remember her name
A contest entry
- A Degree of Difficulty by Dalaney.
700 points, ended February 1, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Trying Hard Not To Fall or ... Love is Falling apart by piccola.
600 points, ended September 19, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Brilliant! I love the images that are filled with written texture and color. Not always easy to do this and rhyme so well. Thank you for entering.
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a good poem, a sad hue to the rhythm and rhyme produced, it sets the pace at slow, to savour the emotions given. ah love and the mind, we can lose ourselves for sure in the insanity and sorrow of it all.
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amazing! What a story. Love, Lane
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Great descriptions and imagery flow through this piece... Your imagery... wow. What your saying is so powerful, and through your words.. I see it perfectly in my mind. I really like how you rhymed it, and I have never written in 5 lined verses before. That actually looks very interesting, perhaps I'll give it a try
You do have a way with words, i have to admit. I am a bit jealous of that too
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I was worried about the flow with five lines, the rhythm is a bit different and I am not an experienced writer of poetry. I was surprised that I carried the theme of the write all the way through.
Thank you so much for the compliments..dont be jealous..I am an amateur.
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Ache of Enjoyment
I really loved reading this poem. I wish I can write like you.
Seriously you did a great job, and I found it difficult to read as I almost cried. For any poem to put me in such a degree of enjoyment, I give credit to the poet or author like yourself and I say thanks.
Take care and god bless,
Caked. -
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When I began to write I didn't know where the words would take me, but sometimes our personal lives come through in strange ways.
I am so in awe of the other submissions!
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