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duck egg blue porcelain egg timer

Firmly looking
into a shell tight clock,
it blinks a minute over
and taps it's tin feet
all over it's mouth,
there's a hidden gift
blended into it's mirrored stove body.






Author notes

The last lines previously:

"there's a present
blended into it's body."



Please, in your comments, keep language simple and clean.

eyes… (inspiration.)

I'm not that good at personification because I don't use it that much, but this was a fun excersize and I hope you like my big attempt!

P.S. I couldn't figure out how to incorporate the "duck egg blue" part, but everything else was used from the prompt.

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • fairytalelovestory
    February 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this was nice


  • Cat gold member
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i really think you used this exercise well- this is definitely personification
    and i think you were able to use the item efficiently.

    the word present seems odd to me there.. that is the only stumbling block i have on this piece

    thanks so much for entering

    m


    • bird at rose
      February 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Wowee with effort's relief!

      And, I happily revised the last two lines because you didn't get the "present" part just so you know,

      Daisy


  • NurseChilly gold member
    February 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i think you did pretty well with this... even though it was one of the harder ones..

    well done and many thanks for entering the contest

  • Cat gold member
    January 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry but there are only two choices left- the egg timer and the apostle spoons.. you can choose either of those if you'd like. The red farm tractor was chosen yesterday.

    • bird at rose
      January 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      well, it wasn't highlighted dark, so i thought i could use it without looking at everybody's entries also. oops, but ill go in and edit it with using "the egg timer"


      • Cat gold member
        January 19, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        it is highlighted..

        but let me go highlight this for you now..


        • bird at rose
          January 19, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          I was thinking the used up ones were the dark shades as the example, but now it's more clear!

1 - 8 of 8