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Night Prowler



Monday night massacre;

it was his desire

to take and destroy a soul -

to meet & greet pleasure

He had the killer instinct;

knife in hand, blood shot eyes,

a grin of malice & corruption.

His mouth flirted murder

upon a mockery of faith,

to the gods who couldn't care less.

Upon finding a fresh body,

to play his nightly game -

he followed her home,

hiding in the shadows.

Thrust to the ground,

nowhere to run

& nobody to save her.

Fondled & forced

then ultimately taken;

ripped & torn,

cut & sliced

he worked his knife

skillfully, playing.

Breast to naval,

a wound, left gaping;

a deadly dose

of lust & sadism.

He mocked death

kissing her lips gently

& grinning slyly -

'you look better this way'


She was helpless;

upon the blood stained grass,

where he took her pretty life

to make his seem worthwhile.

Author notes


Fancy something dark and disturbing?

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • RareFlower
    December 8, 2008

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    Jack

    This poem was very well written and made me shudder, I was reminded of Jack the Ripper. Great write. Thank you for entering the contest and good luck.
    RF


  • R S Adams Jr silver member
    December 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Creepy! This is real horror.

    You have really got into the evil lust and the demented mind of this killer. Brr! Your graphic poem leaved me with a shudder with its terrific vocabulary.

    "You look better this way," leaves me shivering...


  • desert places
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    reminds me of Jack the Ripper. What with the wounds the victim recieves. You're good at making such a scary thing artistic..."His mouth flirted murder / upon a mockery of faith...", "he worked his knife / skillfully, playing"--those are good lines...good job


  • Poetic Obscenity
    July 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Evil Laugh

    SEXY! Definitly something worth my favorite word. "GORGASM" =] Lovely.
    My favorite part had to be,


    "His mouth flirted murder

    upon a mockery of faith,

    to the gods who couldn't care less.

    Upon finding a fresh body,

    to play his nightly game -

    he followed her home,

    hiding in the shadows. "


  • SignifyingNothing
    March 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Liked these lines especially:

    "His mouth flirted murder
    upon a mockery of faith,"

    Those lines alone make the poem great, and elevate above many of the serial killer poems in this contest (of which there are very many) This is well stated. You got into his head somewhat, though I wish you'd done that a little more. Congratulations on the trophies, they were deserved. I liked this, thanks for entering.


  • N e a r
    February 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You did an excellent job at introducing and expressing your character. Definitely had a realistic tone to it, and it was chilling.

    Thanks for entering my contest A N Y T H I N G ~ G O E S !
    Good luck!

    M a r l u x i a


  • LadyDementia gold member
    January 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW dripping with dark goodness, fabtastic poem I it Best of luck in the contest with this


  • Immortal Obscurity gold member
    January 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ooh, dark and disturbing is definitely good... Nothing like a good old gorefest right before bed Great job, and good luck to you


  • Glasyalabolas
    January 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is descriptive without being overflowing, the lines are nice and tight, very visual but leaving plenty of room for the reader to visualize on their own.

    Also, the title puts me in mind of Richard Ramirez, though he was 'The Night Stalker', but the title and the content gives it a nice reminiscent of him.

    Good write.


  • Synthetic-Nightmare
    January 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    OMG......OMG.......

    JUST.....WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!
    I!!!
    FUCKIN!!!!!
    LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
    HOLY HELL......this write is hot as fuck...you did an AMAZING JOB. WOW......
    AWWWW HELL, i love writes like these.
    It's dark, twisted, disturbing.....
    *claps* KUDOS......!


    • xxRainbowDawnxx
      January 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you!
      It is rather weird and twisted isn't it, but that's my mind for ya!


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    January 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hmmmm, this is amazing, you know i love a good poem about a killer, and this is a killer poem, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • Rose Chloris
    January 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...you did a great job of telling a twisted and dark story. I am guessing you do well in the contest.


  • ForeverxAlone
    January 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wowness. One of my favorites in this contest, =]
    Excellent


  • Nicotine Eyes
    January 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    O wow. I loved this, It was great!! Thanks And Good luck!!

    [♥]Nicotine.

1 - 15 of 15