Nana's Pail
plops on tanned grass
cupping midday sun. I wrestle its
worn hand, which once fit
smooth like mangosteen pulp.
Our mouths stretch wide as she streams
down its belly.
In a list
A contest entry
- the rusted bucket; a personification contest - with nurse chilly by Cat.
800 points, ended February 17, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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i love the first stanza of this poem.
and the title sets the mood
but then- when i get to this:
"Our mouths stretch wide as she streams
down its belly."
i am lost- our mouths... the bucket and yours? you and your siblings? either is a great answer. but then
as she - who is she? nana, the bucket?.. with the title i almost assume it would have to be the pail
because if the poem is titled nana's pail.. then she has to be the she.. right? then how is a pail streaming?
and Then who is the it? whose belly is the she streaming down?
i'm sorry.. im not trying to be difficult- but i just can't make sense of this...
m
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I know you're not trying to be difficult lol.
You're right about 'our mouths' - I was referring to mine and the pail's.
It is Nana that is streaming down the pail's bucket - in 'tears' as the water spills over.
Hope that clarifies it somewhat, I didn't intend for that part to be so vague.
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damn, this is good... and the juice of mangosteen and the belly too... I love the word belly
thank you for this Stacey...
well done and thank you for entering the contest -
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Thanks G, I love the word belly too.
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Excellent.
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Thank you. That one word says a lot.
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but all now yuh nuh ansah mi...a wah yuh did a write bout?
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Contemporary and enticing! U have a tendency to "tease" your readers by giving us abbreviated prose as if u want us to literally beg u for more!
What is the meaning of this piece? Is it symbolic of motherhood? I love the mystique and the cryptic meanings embedded in this short piece...
It's an advanced approach to poetry!
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Your words are far too kind.
Thanks K, I try.
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