Here I sit,
Patiently waiting
For my baby to call
Waiting...now up pacing...
Wanting to hear that precious voice
Anxious to hear that laugh
Desperately curving, to hear the words
I LOVE YOU!
Then the phone rings
I sprung up...running...grabbing the phone and jumping on my bed
Expecting to finally hear my baby's voice
But the voice I heard was not my baby's
It was my baby's girlfriend
She cursed me out from A to Z
Informing me that she was no longer just a girlfriend...
But a fiancee
I just lie there
Mouth dropped
Eyes teary
Hands shaky
Still holding the receiver to my ear
Listening to dail-tone sing its song of rejection
At that moment I knew
I knew that he could never be my man
How could I be so blind
To fall for a man that's not mine
My wetten face hits the pillow
As I mourn the death,
Of a love that never lived in the first place
Author notes
Hey again allpoetry! I am a bit rusty but it just came to me so I wrote it. Hope you enjoy!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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oh my god, that was amazing, i really felt the pain in this, made me want to cry, very nice
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I loved the powerful beginning, and the end was dramatic, to say the least. I think the length is actually good for this, it fits right where the thoughts take it, does that make sense?
Good stuff here, lots of drama. I have a drama prompt theater theme coming up, I'd like to see your piece entered.
Take care,
Jin -
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Thanks and be sure to let me know when it is.
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This was a great piece. I am sure this rings true for so many people..as we have all been in this place. You did a great job having the reader engrossed in the drama. Great work.
Soulful Woman
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This reminds me of the way I felt last year when the guy I loved, got his girlfriend pregnant.
It's a horrible feeling I know, and this poem expresses it very well. Good job. Keep up the good work. -
Amazing!
What a wonderful expression of our desperation to be loved, and the sting that comes from our mistakes. I love the image of the anticipation of waiting for that comforting and loving voice, the sudden elation of thinking it was right there, only to have all that dashed by the truth. And the last two lines.....what can I say.......they ROCK!
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I like this a lot and because its easy for people to relate to and it's not your average sob story about a guy who hurt you. It actually brings some light to the fact that sometimes you don't have to be the victim and shows some type of coming up from the pain of rejection. It flows really nicely too and I like the words you used too. Very good write!
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I'm glad to see something new from you even though it seems to be a sad and heartbreaking one. Rejection is truly hard to take. It's like a jab in the stomach and punch in the face at the same time. I guess we all experience it once in our lifetimes if not more. Hopefully your pen can find some happiness and relate it to your heart.
Ted E
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It is just some old feelings that I had. Thanks for reading hubby!
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It was my pleasure to read you as I always find it special to find out more about you
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bravo
Extremely painful, and from the heart!! ah, there is lesson or two to be learned her somewhere... a fine write indeed! More?! bravo... bravo... bravo...
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Yeah I did learn my lesson. I am glad that you liked it.
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wow... that is a sad rejection.. that better not be for real girl! But either way... it was a bit rusty.. but the fact that I never thought I would ever get to read another poem from you again and I did totally rules that out!! I'm so happy, you don't even know how excited I am. I feel like a little girl. Considering I'm considered you're "little" sister, I"m actually fitting the profile at the present!!!
gah
-Faded
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It use to be for real a while back. I had to go to my past to come up with this. In a way I guess that is a good thing. And I'm kind of surprised that you are so happy to be reading my work...it isn't anything special.
And you are acting like my little sister because you are just that, MY SIS!
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How sad rejection is, but the good thing is that there are many fish in the ocean! Good to see you writing again!
Love and blessings,
Mom~
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Yeah it is a good feeling to be writing again. Thanks for reading mommy.
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I missed you.
Nough said. -
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I miss you too! Feel free to send me a message whenever you get the chance.
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Whatta killer!!!
Whoa!!! This is an awesome piece about such a sad subject!I think you have described it quite well.This type of thing seems to happen quite often. I love the last two lines, as they just make this a masterpiece!Thanks for sharing this powerfully moving piece with us. DT
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No thank you for even reading this. I'm very grateful.
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Could qualify as the plot for a TV story...
Your talent bursts out and makes the reader wish for MORE... so keep penning these splendid poems, dear Poet. 
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Plot for a TV story huh...cool. lol. I appreciate the fact that you took the time to read this and I'm very glad that you enjoyed it.
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