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Winter Blues

Wind blows
Snow falls
A blizzard has arrived
The blustry days seem not to cease
They come here ever so often this year
A hammock lies forgotten that season has already passed
The thermometer is leaking mercury of no use to humans any longer
Droplets race to the ground as trees shiver shaking snow away
The landscape is a large white canvas begging for some words
But all it receives is soddened clothes and several broken branches

Author notes

well that weird using a word bank is tough!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    March 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great write! Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper


  • greatperhaps
    January 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    good job again!!! except here you got a silver so ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok, now for the critiquing.... please please please I beg you for the sake of my gramatical sanity, start using commas!!!!!!! even the judge attomatically put in one in that line he/she liked!!! and by the way, I like that line too! you just have a puntuation problem and also a reading it over before you post it because you use the wrong letter sometimes problem! but that's ok, I'll still love your writing even if you have those problems! it was very good though!!!


  • wishintreeUK
    January 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I especially like the line :
    "a hammock lies forgotten, that season has already passed"
    this reminds me of looking back and longing for the summer which has already gone, yet being faced with the
    reality of what the winter has bought with it... too, I like the idea of your description of the landscape resembling a white canvas begging for some words, almost like a blank screen when we are hoping for words to come into the mind for our next poem
    You have made a great effort with your poem, well done! and thank you for taking the time to enter the contest.

    Katie


  • omg-its-sara
    January 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good job!You used the word bank words pretty well. That must have been hard!

1 - 6 of 6