The Chinese were wise,
said it was the
“Year of the Pig” --
a year I wrote in alkali,
through fallacy,
and turned away sense;
and if malaise were fatal
I'd have died a
thousand times,
sank in the dirt of your
barbarity, screaming
that the months
mothering me
were savage in their
rendition of you.
I catch snippets as air -
memories slanted through
seizure - of you drinking
tea and the
mug of your cheek
as it swallowed the
logic in me.
You were transposed,
in the end: grappling
with hands long severed;
itchy for the world
to invert itself.
I'm flat now though:
vacuous in the way your
mouth forms “bitch”
around my spine --
I could only sew the
skin of a year shut;
etch an ending
into an incubus
lost to the stroke of midnight.
In a list
A contest entry
- For My Teachers (5300 points) by just rob.
5000 points, ended March 1, 2008, 21 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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yes, yes, and yes
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As someone else already said "amazing" What a great piece of poetry here and certainly deserving of the bronze
Ruth
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Thank you
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Wow. Just Amazing. Congrats on your bronze!
Lisa
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I'm glad you liked this one
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congratulations, this is one of your very best and certainly worthy of the bronze in a very tough contest...
al -
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I'm so pleased you think so! Thanks
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Wowza!
Every line of this is potent and as a whole it's simply amazing. Fabulous from start to finish. >pixxie<
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and if malaise were fatal
I'd have died a
thousand times,
sank in the dirt of your
barbarity
You're good.
Perhaps TOO good...hmmmm...
Excellent write.
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Oh my... this carries so much meaning, I've read it three times now and have only begun to scratch the surface of this superbly written/felt piece.
You write with such poignancy and insightfulness. An excellent piece
Dee
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mouth forms “bitch”
around my spine --
I could only sew the
skin of a year shut;
Like Rob, I felt the smack of this in my face. It does leave you panting and screaming.. But in such a way that you feel you are watching a train wreck? You can't help it, you have TO WATCH..
Damn babe, You are a good writer.
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Awww, thanks
I had the same feelings wiritng it! They say to write well, write what you know and what I know is that this was an extremely painful write! Thankfully it is out of my system now though for other people to enjoy, lol!
Thanks again
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Outstanding.
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Thanks for the add!
I have a long awaited exam tomorrow; hopefully after that I will get more time to read some of your poetry too
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Thanks for the add!
I have a long awaited exam tomorrow; hopefully after that I will get more time to read some of your poetry too
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Read it five times
You never cease to amaze me. I had a near-physical reaction to this one. It seems the theme, the baseline that tugs at your stomach, is so universal, through that impeccable phrasing, that the reader reacts, one marque of a great piece. It resonates.
It hurts good, and turns me green with that, damn, I wish I wrote thatness that I so enjoy.
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Awwww Rob, your comment has made me ecstatic! I've found that there is an elite group of poets present on allpoetry - and you are one of the ring leaders. So that fact that you enjoy my poetry means more to me than you know
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more like the towel boy
but I sure do enjoy your work.
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this title is perfect-
i love the implications of the title with the piece-
and the piece is rich in imagery-
very nicely done
m
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Thank you Dear
Hopefully there will be plenty more of it after the 1st of February!
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I love how confident and sure the voice of this poem is and how that strength drives the piece adding depth to its already vivid imagery...
al
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Thank youuuu, I am glad you enjoyed it
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"I could only sew the
skin of a year shut;
etch an ending
into an incubus
lost to the stroke of midnight."
Dammmnnn. What an amazing piece this is. I agree with JD; I envision a shiny chalice in your future...& may the new year be much kinder...to us all. Good luck in Rob's contest, Poet. Wanda
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Thank you for such an encouraging comment Thus far, the new year has been good; in fact, I am planning on doing a follow up poem "1 January 2008: The Purification" - woo hoo! Will see how it goes.
Thank you again, and good luck to you also
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powerful writing here, lady. reading it feels like getting slapped.
a sad story, but the 'year of the pig' makes me chuckle with understanding.
me likes it muchly
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Heh heh. It really is a sad story, one I hope I have exorcised for good! Year of the Pig was meant to be a bit light hearted, kind of like calling someone a poo poo head, LOL! But these things always start out funny and end up gutting us
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This is great poetry and I love the metaphor of year/months you've applied here. Yes, when we're hurt the year seems to much longer...if only we can sew it shut, lol.
I loved the intensity of this piece; so many lines I wish I'd written. Like the "year of the pig" touch at the beginning... that says sooo much.
Great work - you are so talented.
~ Nicolette
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Awww, thanks That means a lot coming from a poet such as yourself!
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Very striking ..
write, and a strong contender for Rob's Gold I'd say.
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I'm gald you think so
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