I sit alone in a vacant room
Ouietly fighting with myself
I don't know what I'm trying to get from it
I know it's not money
And it's definitely not oil
It is so much deeper than that
Perhaps I am just searching for self understanding
To make sense of the insidiousness that awaits me
The room that was once vacant
Is now overflowing with with thoughts and ideas
Some are superfluous crackpot theories
And others are simply blind stabs in the dark
There are so many voices inside of my head
And they're all talking at once
I try to shut them out with earplugs
But they only get louder and louder once I put them in
Through the menagerie of voices and sounds
I can faintly pick out a single, female voice
She says that to forget is inaction, and inaction is death
I'm unsure of it's meaning for now
But I know that it will become apparent soon enough
So for now
I will stay here, in this vacant room
And duke it out with my alter egos
My first alter ego is a strung out junkie
Who believes that everything is going to be okay
But he lives in a dumpster
He eats out of garbage cans
And smokes cigarette butts from the sidewalk
He smells like sour milk, urine, and rotten cabbage
Stray cats won't go near him
Only flies
But even those flies have a death wish
He wears the same tattered rags day in and day out
And has a pet rat named Jimmy, his only friend
He tells Jimmy everything
And shares his dinner of half eaten pizza crusts
Also known as the dumpster diver special
But he swears that everything is going to be okay
As long as he gets his fix
"Damn that used to be me" I say out loud
As he offers me a pipe and a lighter
"What do I do?" I ask myself
He tells me to take it, Jimmy squeaks in agreement
It's so tempting, oh so very tempting
But that female voice chimes in, a little louder this time
She says " to forget is inaction, and inaction is death"
"What does she mean?" I say as I'm still contemplating
Whether or not to take the pipe
Now my second alter ego kicks into full gear
He knows everything, and can't be told otherwise
He's always right, and you're always wrong
He is also always drunk
His breath perpetually smells of bourbon and brandy
Yet he swears to drunk that he's not god
He just has an inner ear infection
That's what he tells everyone, anyways
He can't hold a job for more than a week
So he rummages through trash cans and dumpsters
For cans and bottles to finance his habit
And keep food in his stomach when he cant get to the soup kitchen
I've got to hand it to him, he at least buys his food some of the time
But he mainly stays on the liquid lunch diet
He walks with an unmistakeable stagger
That even the insects have come to recognize
His eyes are always angled towards the ground
Scanning for bottles, cans, and loose changed
Every little bit counts
"Holy shit, I used to be that too" I say out loud
He stops and tells me everything is going to be okay
And that he can make my pain go away
"all you have to do is drink this" he says
As he passes me a flask
I begin my deliberation, with the flask in my hand all the while
"Fuck it" I say "this won't be too bad", "one won't hurt me"
Then that female voice says to me in a soft southern drawl
"to forget is inaction, and inaction is death"
I still don't know what she's talking about
I just want things to straighten out
I lay my face into my hands
And start crying like a baby
After about an hour of wallowing in self pity
She hits me with that honey toned voice and says
"to forget is inaction, and inaction is death"
I get it now
I can't forget what I used to be
And I can't forget what got me there
Otherwise I'll be digging my own grave
This isn't going to be easy
But nothing ever is
So I must keep on fighting
On the front lines of world war me
Author notes
option 4, alternate personalities.
A contest entry
- The Psychiatrist's Sofa by ilovemygrape.
450 points, ended January 20, 2008, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options Contest for the Creative Mind by chasingwhiterabbits.
700 points, ended June 20, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Come up and see me, make me smile. by tarcus.
1147 points, ended June 21, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your favorite Prewrite by SignifyingNothing.
875 points, ended August 9, 2008, 112 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn that silver into GOLD pt 7 by whispernthedark.
400 points, ended September 20, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
comments from the peanut galllery
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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complete raw gut soul telling mind blowing honesty painted into a tapestry of art
i salute you
T
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Fighting against your former self is never easy, never pretty. Revolutions are never graceful or beautiful, the way we think they are when we set out to begin them. That doesn't mean that, in the end, they aren't worthwhile. That's exactly what changing yourself, fighting against a destructive part of yourself is: a revolution in your mind.
I have been there, as you well know, and I'm still fighting that fight. I win a few battles, then I lose one, but I'm determined most of the time, not to lose the war.
I am very impressed with your descriptive ability, as always. You are so great with details, with putting us right there in the moment - letting us see and know everything we can about the situation to help us really FEEL it. I love that about your writing. It's a rare gift.
Keep fighting the good fight, my friend
I'll be battling alongside you.
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I understand this piece. It makes me feel not so alone when I look at the different faces of me. Great write!
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Great title and magnificent poem. Congratulations on your prior wins with this. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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I really like this a lot. The touch with the alter egos was done very well. To me, the poem really got going when you got to the first alter ego. The beginning didn't interest me that much, it just sounded like an angst poem like a million other angst poems. But then the alter ego stuff came in and it really got interesting. There are some lines in this I just love, especially in the descriptions of the two personalities. The way you worded your descriptions of them were just awesome. Still, I would edit this a bit.
I liked it though, and I'm only giving constructive criticism because I think you are really on to something here. You can take or leave my advice, of course.
Thanks a lot for entering and letting me read this poem! -
I lay my hands into my face
And start crying like a baby
After about an hour of wallowing in self pity
She hits me with that honey toned voice and says
"to forget is inaction, and inaction is death"
inaction is also an action
as it is the action to do nothing -
I usually don't like reading longer poetry, but this one was worth it. I especially liked the title, World War ME.
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IF THE LONG ONES ARE TOO LONG I MAY FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE DAWNING OF THE 22nd. AND NOT FINISH JUDGING.
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Kudos for picking this option. I didn't expect anyone to. For a freeverse, I absolutely love this.
Yet he swears to drunk that he's not god
That would be a hilarious line any other time, but you made it deep. You made me really think here.
As someone who actually has a split personality, I think you did a terrific job.
Thanks so much for entering.
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WOW. you are really good at writing poetry
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GREAT!
great poem really hits home -
SHAZAM
i dont know what to say realy it was beautiiful uet a little sad -
Wonderful
My favorite part of the poem would have to be the ending.
This isn't going to be easy
But nothing ever is
So I must keep on fighting
On the front lines of world war me
I thought those lines were very deep.
This was an excellent write!!!!
-Chloe
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this was good, i liked it
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You have the skill of revealing the dark without adding to it. There are a couple of miniscule typo's and hey you have been awarded the silver shiny so the contest holder saw beyond them and Amen, I know many poets ,like myself, challenged by lack of education or dyslexia that have something pertinent to say regardless of whether we get bitten viciously for typo's and yes, when the soul truly cares it is a battle within the self. I know that before I have finished this comment someone has been raped, shot, or tortured and they do not make for easy listening, how harmonic are screams?
NB line 2 oietly/quietly
fo/faux
drunk/drink ( tense not spelling)
changed/change
The punctuation is haphazard and adds misplaced focus, you don't leave a space between the end line of the poem page and the poem
AND NONE OF THOSE THINGS MATTER!!!
This, is quite simply brilliant, without fancy backgrounds, despite having your own style and breaking all the " supposed " rules of poetry you write poetry that would be worthy whether written in the snow, sand or on a wall!
Tighten, sharpen, hone, you have a unique gift and worthy points to make
Bravo!
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Awesome poem
This was a really good poem. I would love to watch this in a series of short movies. Great images through out as I could visualize each occurance mentioned. Once again awesome poem. -
The room that was once vacant
Is now overflowing with with thoughts and ideas
Some are superfluous crackpot theories
And others are simply blind stabs in the dark
and
So for now
I will stay here, in this vacant room
And duke it out with my alter egos
I get this. It sounds so much like me. Nevermind the alter ego wars raging, the substance abuse, the insatiable, irrational cravings, or the speech to oneself about why it isn't good to have these cravings..I really really really liked the soft female voice, peaking her thoughts in every single time.
The end stanza is perfect. I love the bittersweet, realistic take you have in this piece.
Raw, sardonic, chilling, and sometimes so brutally honest, I want to turn away..Yeah, I liked this write alot, can you tell..?
I hope you find yourself some Peace today,
enough said, or probably too much,
Jin
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alter-egos are 'dangerous' things indeed - was the pet rat 'trained'? the ending line was veru good thanks for sharing the 'darkness' with us regards zaj
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Zowie, Zap, Zonk!
This is truly food for the Muses! It is so satisfying, I actually am pissed with you for not writing more; HA! I was looking to see if there was any overindulgence in poetric licensing, but every bit comes across in harmonious balance; you may well be traveling to another Galaxy soon: excellent! DW
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Very powerful and emotional piece. I really loved reading it. (And the title is insanely clever.)
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YEAH BRAVO!! this poem is great because it represents a struggle to remember in all addictions of the past, shadow smokes and light drinks destruction of the moment by repeating the same old, spuring us on to never waste the moment, never lose control of the chemical monster patterns we crave, be aware of intuition, of communion and so to take the hand of angels we must reach with our spirits/minds, a very strong message with a great poem of personal triumph, well deserved and well done, thanks poet,
w green tea and cookies
-JAS
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I CELEBRATE THE BEAUTY and WEALTH in this poem!
So proud I am of you, for writing so fearlessly and bold!
This poem really strikes a chord in our hearts!
it is re-birth and the laborous aching pain of transformation, and my gawd...I can not wait to hear
and see, and read every word of this newborn man!
Do you hear your bold STRENGTH reaching through? I am
most humbled by this poem! Damn...you are doing it!
Fight with your soul, and when those dark voices come
to torture you? simply say..."well..thanks for reminding
me? and laugh in their faces! What is one thing I can
do today to reach through this pain.....start by looking
for one way to be a blessing to another..one thing, just
one.
FEED THAT POWERFUL SOUL OF YOURS...
see and hear that STRENGTH IN YOU....
you are a proud soldier being groomed...
for mighty mighty adventures yet to be lived
in this life of yours!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen/Seattle. -
Congrats on the SILVER!
What a powerful poem, filled with brillant light to
read as your powerfully and boldly break through!
Just loved it..so inspiring and fierce to do!
The front lines of world war is...me!
I hear ya brother! and the VICTOR is YOU!
humble bow!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen/Seattle. damn good poem!
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Rob... I am speachless. This is by far your best. You are going to be ok. You will get through it I have no doubt. Keep fighting and stay strong. It will pay off.
miss you lots!
Sarah -
Holy Parryywinkle PIE!
What the crap is parrywinkle pie??? This is by far one of the most interesting things I have read in what seems quite awhile. I can't even tell you a favorite part, because the whole thing is the bomb. Which is ironic that it happens to be the bomb cause its called world war me. (which is very creative in itself) You deserve some..pie. ??? Um. Yes. Thisssssssssssssss is REALLY awesome, I love the alter egos, it's even humorous. And the whole verse about the voices when the womans voice first comes in. GREAT GREAT GRAPE!
YUP. GOOD ONE.
((((Tweedle Dum in parenthesis))))
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Marvelous write. There's not really much I can say except that it's ace... I might comment again when I'm less haggard. Until then, you might want to proof read this, because there's rather a lot of spelling mistakes.
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Oh my! This is really good. I love the story here. It is very inspiring, very touching. I love the depth of your poem. Well written, very well written. Great work, Rob.
I need to get back into reading poems, and let you know, I'll start with yours.
(Sorry if this is confusing, I've been a little out of it lately. Lol.)
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why thank you very much. im very flattered. i got a bunch of cool poem linked on my page. they're worth a read too.
Rob
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