paper dreams
my spirit enfolds
a loving congruity
encircling your being
surrendered to you
rice paper dedication
of my origami heart
Author notes
Challenge: less than 20 words
Dedicated to: AE
Sedoka:
The Sedoka is an unrhymed poem made up of two three-line katauta with the following syllable counts: 5/7/7, 5/7/7. A Sedoka, pair of katauta as a single poem, may address the same subject from differing perspectives.
In a list
A contest entry
- DFI Round 2 ~ Short and Sweet by And Hyetal.
800 points, ended February 5, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments:
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I love your work so.
You are one smart poet! This is so soft. Poetry I love.
Congratulations on the Bronze.
Love
Myra
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So well done, showing strong emotions while maintaining their frailty. excellent.
ken
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love...gl
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hmmm...
you know what the most amazing thing about this write is? the amount of emotion you packed into the brevity of this form...
you mastered the form perfectly...and impressively...I might add...LOL...but the feeling garnered within so few words is amazing!
I love this write...and I adore the use of origami here!!!!
you are so creative pretty girl!!!
this is another write begging for tin!
Blessings! Tammy
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Beautiful
So enchanting and well done. Best of luck with the contest.
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"rice paper dedication
of my origami heart"
- - - my favorite part!
beautiful!
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Oh my...this is a classic...definitely a 'short and sweet' poem that hits directly the hearts of people who are in love...I loved the imagery so much and I think you're the only one who could think of that...
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OMGGGGGG this is gooo awesome...you know me and short poems and girlie you captured this in one perfect fold, like you have with my heart! Good luck..... wish I had 20 bunnies....
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This is perfect. Absolutely perfect. Such a buildup to an outstanding end. I can't say enough good about it.
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My dear friend,
Oh what a read this one is!! I am not sure if I have read this form before or not, but I love it!! And words in this one, is just, Oh...you know what I mean!! I love it!
Best of luck in this contest!!
and love
Nyetta
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This is very beautiful, I cannot say more than that really, but it is beautiful.
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Oh most excellent this is!
Wonderfully written!
Wishing you all the very best in this contest!
Bravo to you!!! -
Imagery: 1 point
Theme: 1 point
Use of Form/Flow: 1 point
Other criteria: 1 point
Overall Appeal: 1 point
Yay!
You actually used a FORM in your entry! (How did I know? 
)
I love your theme of romance, and you had beautiful imagery. Your syllable count was perfect, and the form and flow was just wonderful.
5 more points for Team Sonneteer!
Thanks for entering!
Always,
Cassie
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The short, image-driven form works particularly well for the content. The poem unfolds itself like origami.
Textured, elegant, and simple.
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this is really lovely.
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bright and shiny like the elf you are!
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well done with grace. neverhave I had such dreams. thank you so much.
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I like this form, and I love your font. Very well written. You have shown true talent in so few words...beautiful.
Kelli
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